The Bishonen Phenomena
by Crystal-One
Summary: I'm backWhen a crazy fan decides to turn Syaoran into a Bishonen, chaos insues! They must embark on a journey to find the PlotSword and save Syaoran from certain girlyness. Xovers: Legend of Zelda, Xiaolin Showdown, YuGiOh, Tales of Symphonia, Homestar Ru
1. Irregular Clouds, Sparkles and Fangirls

Laurel: Hello everyone! We're gonna have a wonderful time today!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own CCS, nor do I own Syaoran, Sakura, Bishonens, sparkles, long hair, minty-flavored Colgate toothpaste, the colour green, flannel pajamas, sleep, ninjas, fangirls, glomping... *continues*  
  
Hen-Neko- Oh shut up! *grabs large hammer*  
  
Laurel: *sigh* Ok then... Jeez, Neko... Don't be so mean... *sniffles*  
  
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Chapter One = Irregular Clouds, Sparkles and Fangirls...?  
  
The sun shone through the window of Syoaran Li's apartment that one fateful morning. It was a normal looking day, with a normal looking sky, with slightly irregular clouds and just plain strange room temperatures... Syoaran was sleeping peacefully in his bed, wearing his pink, flannel pajamas and--  
  
"What the hell are you talking about?!" Syaoran shouted angrily at the strange disembodied voice.  
  
Well, obviously I'm describing the present scene in this Fic... Syaoran, looking at his clothing screeched in a girl-like voi--  
  
"STOP IT!" He growled more loudly than before.  
  
Oh, all right... Syaoran was sleeping peacefully in his bed, wearing his not pink, but GREEN pajamas. (Syaoran grumbled and lay back down). Just then, his alarm went off! Another day of school was to begin!  
  
"Ah, crap..." Syaoran murmured, irritated, "I was TRYING to get some sleep..."  
  
Well... Too bad!  
  
He yawned, stretched, and stood up. Walking to his bathroom door, he opened it and peered groggily at his reflection. Grabbing his green toothbrush, he squirted some minty-green toothpaste (Colgate) onto it and brushed his silky brown hair off of his shoulder. Stuffing his toothbrush in his mouth he began to brush his teeth quietly. Until...  
  
"What the- " Syaoran screeched as he stared at the reflection staring back at him. To his horror, his hair had grown quite a lot during the night, and was now down below his shoulders... and very silky and flowing, might I add.  
  
Wide-eyed he confusedly grabbed a pair of scissors and chopped off his hair, until it was once again, how it had been the day before... and the day before that... and the day before that... and the day before tha-  
  
("Get on with it!!" Hen-Neko screamed at her from the background, threatening the authoress with a large hammer..) Ok, ok...  
  
Still confused by this, he ignored it and continued to brush his teeth, which were sparkling much more than usual at this point in time. Checking the clock, he returned to his room and searched out some clothing for the day.  
  
Waits.  
  
"AHEM!!!!!" Syaoran once more said to the authoress.  
  
Oh, all right... The authoress turned away as Syaoran uneasily dressed.  
  
You done? Good. Syaoran, once dressed, grabbed his books and tripped on his dress-like kimono...  
  
"AHG! Will you quit it!!!"  
  
-_-' Oh, alright... Have it your way... boring... and not-making-fun-of- you... FINE! Speaking in a boring voice, the authoress continued her boring story of boringness...  
  
Syaoran, now wearing jeans and a P-- (Syaoran glares). A... a p-... pr- ... PREEN T-shirt. Leaving his room he left for school, hoping no other horrors would befall him along the way.  
  
And they didn't.  
  
Once he arrived at Tomoeda Elementary School, he sighed. Nothing horribly strange had happened, nor anything random, perhaps it would be a good day after all. He entered the school through the front door and proceeded down the hallways to his first class. Syaoran frowned, was that giggling he heard...? Suddenly, from behind a row of lockers, three girls dressed in ninja-style clothing leapt into the air and land beside him.  
  
The first girl, a blonde, screamed to the other two, "Alpha Formation! Attack! NOW!!"  
  
Before Syaoran could react, the three girls had pinned him to the wall. "OK! Now... wait for it... wait for it... wait for it... GLOMP!!!" They launched themselves onto any close body part that happened to be connected to Syaoran (you sick people... get your heads out of the gutter... *shakes head*) and hugged it.  
  
Syaoran, almost panicking now, retrieved his sword and sliced the open air. The girls had gone.  
  
"Ok... Laurel... What the hell was that for...?" He asked nothing, and people stared...  
  
A flash of light twinkled around him and a girl, blonde haired, blue-green eyed, appeared out of nowhere, for no apparent reason.  
  
"Hello, Syaoran! I'm Laurel, your authoress for this fic!" She replied to his call, "How may I assist you?"  
  
Syaoran sweatdropped. "Why are you here...?" He asked, "And why are you carrying a laptop?"  
  
"Well, obviously I'm the writer of this fanfiction, and you needed my help! Remember?" I gasped, "OH MY GOD! YOU'RE LOSING YOUR MEMORY!!!"  
  
She grabbed the laptop and plucked herself down in the middle of the hallway, ignoring the fact that people walking by had been tripping on her for quite some time.  
  
"The first thing I'll do... is make this script form! Why, you ask? Because I felt like it!! Now shut up!"  
  
Laurel: Ahhh.... MUCH better...  
  
Syaoran: Okaaaaay... *inches away*  
  
Laurel: STOP IT! YOU NEED HELP!! Now, what is your name?  
  
Syaoran: Syaoran...?  
  
Laurel: *sighs with relief* Oh, I'm so glad it was a false alarm...Anyway, You've got to continue on in this story, we're getting off topic!  
  
Syaoran: And what IS this topic...?  
  
Laurel: *glares* Only I may know! I am the AUTHORESS! *grumbles* If you need my help, I'll appear in a flash of pretty light and colours! *disappears suddenly* Syaoran: Why didn't you LEAVE in a flash of pretty col- *pauses* Nevermind... I don't want to know...  
  
Laurel: (in the distance) Nope!  
  
Syaoran: *Continues onto his first class, without any instances of fangirl- ninja attacks. Opening the door, he pauses there and grumbles.* Good morning...  
  
Sakura: Hello Li- What happened to your hair...?  
  
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Thank you everyone! Wasn't that wonderfully random and pointless!? YAY! The next chapter will be much better though! Bi bi! 


	2. Sparkles of DOOM!

Laurel: This chapter is brought to you by...  
  
Old Halloween Candy!  
  
*curs to scene with Laurel nibbling insanely on slightly melted chocolate bars* Teehee! If I didn't eat this Candy before, when it was good and not dangerous, You probably wouldn't have this story!  
  
Hen-Neko: -_-' That is disgusting...  
  
Laurel: Oh My GAWD! I completely forgoteded to inform you all about Hen- Neko!! EEK! *Glomps Hen-Neko* Neko is my cute little kitty eared sidekick! He's sooooo cuuuuuute...  
  
Hen-Neko: Erk! O_o  
  
Laurel: Don't youjust wanna touch his ears... *eyes grow wide and she leans forward*  
  
Hen-Neko: Umm... Laurel.... The Disclaimer and story...?  
  
Laurel: Poo... Ok then, here we go...  
  
Disclaimer: I am currently working on owning Syaoran. I've written several letters to those guys you created him, and they haven't yet written back... but until then... I do not own Syaoran, Card Captor Sakura, Flashing Colours, Sparkles, Bishonens, cheese in a can, the colour yellow or... ... ... ... ... a laptop... *sigh*  
  
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Chapter Two = Sparkles of DOOM!  
  
Syaoran: *Continues onto his first class, without any instances of fangirl- ninja attacks. Opening the door, he pauses there and grumbles.* Good morning...  
  
Sakura: Hello Syaor- What happened to your hair...?  
  
Syaoran: *reaches back slowly, is hand touches hair, WAY before it should.* Dammit!  
  
Laurel: HEY! You're not allowed to say Dammit in this fic! You have to say "Poo!"  
  
Syaoran: *grumbles* Poo then! *grabs the first available point object and shears off his hair again.*  
  
Sakura: You feeling ok...?  
  
Syaoran: Ya.... Mmm Hmm.... *walks in and sparkles begin to flutter all around him*  
  
Sakura: O_O  
  
Syaoran: *swats at the sparkles angrily* OW! These things are HOT!  
  
Laurel: They're the new and improve sparkles!  
  
Syaoran: Why are you talking now!? Everyone can hear you! ...Right...?  
  
Laurel: Nope! Only you can hear me!! *grins*  
  
Syaoran: Oh... *looks back at the classroom which is staring at him* Heh heh... *swats at another sparkle and enters the classroom again*  
  
Random Teacher: Good morning class, today we will be creating Cheese-in-a- Can!  
  
Random Student: Why...? What class is that...?  
  
Random Teacher: Chemistry! Everyone knows that Cheese in a Can is the basic element for all life! We are all made of Cheese-in-a-Can, so is this chalk and this Can of Cheese!  
  
Students: oooookaaaaay...  
  
Random Teacher: Let's started! Now everyone take out your pitch forks, and we'll begin.  
  
Syaoran: *Jumpily peers around him as he notices giggling again.*  
  
Sakura: What's wrong Syaoran? Do you sense something...?  
  
Syaoran: Yeah... Fangirl Ninjas...  
  
Sakura: Umm... Oki doki then...  
  
Syaoran: I've got to talk to you outside after class, ok?  
  
Sakura: Ok... I'll meet you right outside the door  
  
^^^ After Class ^^^  
  
Sakura: So, what's wrong Syaoran...? And... You're hair again... umm...  
  
Syaoran: *slices it off with his sword crazily* Ok ok ok ok ok...  
  
Sakura: Maybe you should sit down Syao... You don't seem well... maybe it's a Clow Card...  
  
Syaoran: No! It's Laurel! We're in a fanfiction!!  
  
Sakura: NO!! It's worse than I thought!  
  
Laurel: *Pretty colours flash and Laurel appears* Did someone say cheese isn't hot?!?  
  
Sakura: No...  
  
Laurel: Oh.... Ok then!! *looks at Syaoran* Woah, you feelin' ok, buddy?  
  
Syaoran: No! I am NOT feeling ok!! Stop torturing me!!  
  
Laurel: *peers at her laptop screen* Hmm... I'm sorry, it seems I cannot do that...  
  
Syaoran: WHY NOT??  
  
Laurel: If I do, then the balance of Cheese-in-a-Can will be thrown off and all the world will be in chaos!  
  
Syaoran: *blinks*  
  
Laurel: Anyways, you'd need this sword that cuts into the plot-hole! *uses sword and cuts into the open air, a hole forms and Laurel grabs a hammer from it* See?  
  
Syaoran: *reaches forward to grab it*  
  
Laurel: No! *slaps his hand* Bad Syaoran! No!  
  
Syaoran: *pulls back*  
  
Sakura: Well, at least tell us what is happening to him!  
  
Laurel: Ok ok... He's becoming a Bishonen! I've chosen many characters that I will Bishonenize, including Kaiba from Yu Gi Oh! (I don't watch the show, but my sister does. I've decided to give her full control over his torture...).  
  
Syaoran: You're doing WHAT?? NOO!! WHY??  
  
Laurel: It's not my fault. I got the idea while watching Inu-Yasha... That show is so full of idea givers!  
  
Syaoran: Well.... How do I reverse the affects?  
  
Laurel: *eats cheese-in-a-can* You'll have to find the Creepy-Wise-Dude and he'll tell you how...  
  
Syaoran: Why don't YOU just tell me?  
  
Laurel: Then the story would end now and would be boring! Jeez... OBVIOUSLY... Anyway, that's the end of this chapter, so... go away...  
  
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How'd you like that? Fun stuff huh? Teehee... The next chapter will be even better! They get to meet Creepy-Wise-Dude... and Hen-Neko get's to hit people... anyways, bi bi!! 


	3. Frank

Laurel: Hello everyone! Welcome to the third Chapter of 'The Bishonen Phenomena', Book One! Now a word from out sponsor!  
  
*happy looking man comes out of nowhere -probably the plot hole- and does a dance* This chapter is brought to you BY...  
  
Laurel: Weekends! If this weren't the weekend, I wouldn't have written the story!  
  
*cheering is heard in the background*  
  
Hen-Neko: AHEM...  
  
Laurel: Oh yaw! Heehee... Here's da disclaimer!  
  
Disclaimer: They wrote me back saying I wasn't allowed to take Syaoran... Poo... I'll have to do something else obnoxious now... *begins printing out threatening letter to the Printer's Association* Mua hahahahahaha!! *printer jams* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! damn you Printer's Association!!!  
  
Syaoran: I thought you weren't allowed to say 'Damn' I thought it had to be 'Poo'...  
  
Laurel: I am allowed to say it, of course! I am the Authoress here! So... Poo on you...  
  
Syaoran: -_-'  
  
Laurel: Oh, and I don't own Shacks, candy, Cheese-in-a-Can, the world, Surfing dude accents, sparkles, and... Hmm... Everything else is owned by me... yay!!  
  
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Chapter Three = Frank  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Laurel: *eats cheese-in-a-can* You'll have to find the Creepy-Wise-Dude and he'll tell you how...  
  
Syaoran: Why don't YOU just tell me?  
  
Laurel: Then the story would end now and would be boring! Jeez... OBVIOUSLY... Anyway, that's the end of this chapter, so... go away...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ End Flashback ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Syaoran: Where can I find this... 'Creepy-Wise-Dude'...?  
  
Laurel: you have to go to the end of the earth and find his cabin-like- shack-thingy.  
  
Syaoran: The end of the world...?  
  
Laurel: *Nods* Yep!  
  
Syaoran: T_T  
  
Laurel: It's not THAT far away. Just a block or two...  
  
Sakura: Umm... Ok... I'm gonna leave now... *dashes off*  
  
Syaoran: NOO!! I can't do this alone...  
  
Laurel: Hmm.... HERE! Take Hen-Neko!!  
  
Hen-Neko: What!!?? NO! I am NOT going ANYWHERE where YOU have power over anything that happens! *looks at Laurel's annoyed face* But do I have a choice.... uhg...  
  
Laurel: *smiles* YAY! Ok then! Hurry up and get going!  
  
Syaoran: ok ok...  
  
Laurel: *Disappears suddenly*  
  
Hen-Neko: She's crazy, must've been that candy... Or that Cheese-in-a- Can... meh...  
  
Syaoran: Let's get this over with.  
  
*So together they trudged off into the dark forbidding alleyways, in search of the end of the world, and the Creepy-Wise-Dude's Shack...*  
  
Syaoran: Since when do we have a narrator?  
  
Hen-Neko: Since Laurel got bored...  
  
Syaoran: Makes sense...  
  
*Anyway, they were traveling to the end of the earth! Soon, they saw it! Creepy-Wise-Dude's shack on a hill... that just kinda ended suddenly... heh... ANYWAYS, Just past Burger King they crossed the street and came to his house...y-shack-thing...*  
  
Syaoran: Finally...  
  
Hen-Neko: Tell me about it...  
  
Laurel: OK! You guys were walking and then you ca-  
  
Hen-Neko: Not literally...  
  
Laurel: oh...  
  
Syaoran: Hurry it up! *opens the door* Hello...? Creepy-Weird-Dude...?  
  
Creepy-Wise-Dude: Dude... IT'S WISE! WISE!!!  
  
Syaoran: oops...  
  
Creepy-Wise-Dude: Anyway, man... *has Surfer-Dude accent* ...My name's not Creepy-Wise-Dude... Call me Frank.  
  
Syaoran: Ok... Frank... I need your help! I've started to become a bishonen! What do I do!!??  
  
Frank: Woah man... That is totally weird... You're hair is, like, LONG... Totally...  
  
Syaoran: AHG! *grabs surf board and uses it to saw his now long hair off.*  
  
Frank: Don't have a cow man.... It looks totally...weird...  
  
Hen-Neko: Umm... Can you help us...?  
  
Frank: With what...?  
  
Hen-Neko: The Bishi-problem...  
  
Frank: Oh... Yaw, totally man. I can totally help you with that killer problem...  
  
Hen-Neko and Syaoran: *waits*  
  
Frank: *waits*  
  
Syaoran: Well...?  
  
Frank: Ya?  
  
Syaoran: You going to help us...?  
  
Frank: Oh! Yaw, totally.  
  
Hen-Neko: HOW?  
  
Frank: You havta do a killer surfing ritual... totally, totally...  
  
Syaoran: But I can't surf...  
  
Hen-Neko: I'm part cat... I am NOT going near that water... NEVA!  
  
Laurel: NEKO! Be a good kitty and help out Syaoran here! Or I'll touch your ears and NEVER let go! MUA HA HA!!!  
  
Hen-Neko: Uhg...  
  
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Hope you all liked that chapter. Fun huh? Doopishly fun... Will Syaoran pass the Surfing ritual?? Will it help at all? Will Hen-Neko get wet? Will I EVER stop talking? Stay tuned next time for... The Bishonen Phenomena, Book One! 


	4. Wipe Out, DUDE!

Laurel: Now then. This chapter is an especially special chapter... because I have basically no ideas for it. Well, I kinda do. We all know that it's going to be very random and strange.  
  
Hen-Neko: And the others weren't?  
  
Laurel: Pfff... What are you talking about... That wasn't random at all. THIS is random...  
  
Hen-Neko: What is...?  
  
Laurel: Me not saying anything.  
  
Hen-Neko: ... Holy Catnip... You're not saying anyth-  
  
Laurel: DOOP!  
  
Hen-Neko: *sigh*  
  
Laurel: This chapter is brought to you by...  
  
ALANA! My sister! She must somehow be included for her works in giving me ideas... and constantly trying to fix my spelling mistakes... Stupid younger sisters... *sticks out tongue*  
  
Laurel: Anyways, on with the chapter...  
  
Disclaimer- I HATE you disclaimer! *hacks at paper that says disclaimer on it.* Anyways, I don't own (OMG! Just got an idea!!) CCS, Syaoran (yet... *raises fist*), surfer dude accents, surfboards, the word totally (though I used it enough to say that), wipe outs.  
  
Claimer: I DO own Distant Island (halfway...), Hen-Neko (mua hahaha, holds up Neko's life sentence: ten million years as Laurel's sidekick.), and Frank..  
  
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Chapter Four = Wipe Out, Dude!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Syaoran: You going to help us...?  
  
Frank: Oh! Yaw, totally. Hen-Neko: HOW?  
  
Frank: You havta do a killer surfing ritual... totally, totally...  
  
Syaoran: But I can't surf...  
  
Hen-Neko: I'm part cat... I am NOT going near that water... NEVA!  
  
Laurel: NEKO! Be a good kitty and help out Syaoran here! Or I'll touch your ears and NEVER let go! MUA HA HA!!!  
  
Hen-Neko: Uhg...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
^^^ At the Beach ^^^  
  
Syaoran: Since when is there a beach here?  
  
Laurel: *shifty eyes* They're on to me!!! *runs off*  
  
Syaoran: O.o  
  
Frank: Ok Dudes, here's the ritual. Totally repeat after me... I totally pledge to keep the balance of Cheese-in-a-Can by totally not wiping out, ever. Totally.  
  
*Syaoran and Hen-Neko repeat the pledge*  
  
Frank: Ok, like totally, let's get going.  
  
Syaoran: Now what...? I thought that was it.  
  
Frank: No way, man! Now you've got to totally Hang Ten!... ... ... Totally!  
  
Hen-Neko: NO WAY. There is NO WAY you are going to get me in the water!!  
  
^^^ Five minutes later, in the water^^^ Laurel: Boy Neko... You are SOOO cute in that bathing suit... awww  
  
Hen-Neko: *furrows his brow and lays back his ears* I. Hate. You.  
  
Laurel: I love you too Neko! *huggles him*  
  
Frank: Now, dudes, Totally surf while praying to the Bishi-God.  
  
Syaoran: There's a... Bishi-God...?  
  
Frank: Yes. But he's 'Your Sexiness' or 'Bishiman' to you... totally...  
  
Syaoran: ooookaaaay... If this is the only way...  
  
Laurel: Well, you could also kill yourself...  
  
Syaoran: Hmm... Seems like a better alternative...  
  
Laurel: NO! You're the star of my fic!! You're not ALLOWED to die! Unless I say so, of course... Hmm... *types onto laptop screen for a while*  
  
Syaoran: What did you type?  
  
Laurel: Nothing, now hurry up!!  
  
Syaoran: *grumbles and grabs a surfboard*  
  
Hen-Neko: *begins to twitch* only water... It's only water.. wet... pretty SPARKLY water... water... *pant, pant*  
  
*Syaoran begins TRYING to surf. Which is hard when Hen-Neko has attached himself to your head... with his claws... ouchy*  
  
Syaoran: OW!! Ahh!! My eyes! My Eyes!!  
  
Hen-Neko: WATER, WATER, WATER!!! MY FUR!! MY BEAUTIFUL FUR!!  
  
Syaoran: *falls off the surfboard and into the water.*  
  
^^^ On the Beach ^^^  
  
Frank: Dude...? Dude...? Where are ya Dude...? OH MY GOD! HE WIPED OUT!!!  
  
^^^On the Beach of Distant Island^^^  
  
Rat Native 1: eek eeeak, irk?  
  
Rat Native 2: eek eck erk?  
  
Rat Native 1: EEEK!!  
  
Syaoran: *is covered in hair that had grown while he wiped out* Uhg... Where AM I...?  
  
Saasha: Welcome to Distant Island, traveler!  
  
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Next chapter soon! Lol. PLEASE send me some ideas! ASAP! I've got a few, but yours will always help!! Love you all, bi bi!!!! 


	5. Distant Island and Neko’s Meal

Laurel: This Chapter is brought to you by...  
  
Saasha!!! My strange friend who I met over the internet!!! She is the creator (along with me) of DISTANT ISLAND! (Someday, I will tell you the story of Distant Island Thanksgiving... but not now...) *cheering*  
  
AND... Readers like YOU! *smile...*  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own CCS, Syaoran (grrrr), Sakura, Bishonens, Bishoman (or his nickname, 'Your sexiness'. Both of these were created by another Fanfiction writer called White Angel Chan... I wish I thought of it...).  
  
Claimer: I DO own Distant Island (with Saasha) and 10% of the Rat Natives....  
  
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Chapter Five = Distant Island and Neko's Meal  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Rat Native 1: eek eeeak, irk?  
  
Rat Native 2: eek eck erk?  
  
Rat Native 1: EEEK!!  
  
Syaoran: *is covered in hair that had grown while he wiped out* Uhg... Where AM I...?  
  
Saasha: Welcome to Distant Island, traveler!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Syaoran: Who are you...? What's with the rats...?  
  
Saasha: I am Saasha, a Native of Distant Island! And these are my fellow Natives! *points to rats*  
  
Rat 1: eek.  
  
Rat 2: eek...  
  
Hen-Neko: *stares*  
  
Rat 1: *becomes nervous*  
  
Rat 2: *inches away*  
  
Saasha: *glares at Neko* I'm watching you...  
  
Hen-Neko: *continues staring at Rats*  
  
Syaoran: Why didn't I wash up on the shore I was ten feet away from...?  
  
Saasha: Obviously this is a plot thing! ^_^  
  
Syaoran: *sigh* whatever... How do I get back?  
  
Saasha: I don't know if you ever will... The balance of Cheese-in-a-Can has been upset! The world will be thrown into chaos!  
  
*Every waits for something to happen*  
  
Hen-Neko: *chomp chomp*  
  
Saasha: *looks back to see Neko sitting innocently* Anyway... I was saying... You can stay here until someone comes to rescue you! Please come, I will show you to our humble village.  
  
*Saasha takes them to a log that is shaped like a table, with several stumps and rocks positioned all around it. Many more rats are also sitting around the log-table thingy... She points to the log-stump-rock seats and tells them to sit.*  
  
Saasha: I'll bring the food!!  
  
*Everyone waits while Saasha returns with a large bundle of roots and a few coconuts....*  
  
Saasha: I know it's not Thanksgiving, but here's what we have.  
  
Syaoran: Umm... Thanks...  
  
Hen-Neko: Yes... THANKS A LOT! *grins happily* Saasha: Hmm...  
  
Syaoran: Okaaay...  
  
*The feast is commencing when out of nowhere (or colours) Laurel appears*  
  
Laurel: Hello everyone! How is Distant island looking today? Hey, Syaoran! How are you this fine day? Love the new hairdo...  
  
Syaoran: AHH!!! *uses the roots to pull off his hair once again.*  
  
Saasha: Oink!  
  
Laurel: Moo!  
  
Saasha: Baa!  
  
Laurel: Weesnaw!  
  
Saasha Oogle!  
  
*the exchange of greetings continued for many hours.... Until finally*  
  
Saasha: Hiya Laurel!  
  
Laurel: Hi! So how are the rats? Where are they...?  
  
Saasha: Hmm...? AHHH!!! My Rat brethren! NOO!! YOU!! *points to Neko, who is pleasantly full* YOU EATED THEM!!!  
  
Hen-Neko: uh oh... Hey, Laurel... Could'ya get us back to Frank's?  
  
Laurel: Umm... OK! *pretty colours flash and all three are gone*  
  
Saasha: NUU!! *pauses* Oh well... *chomps roots*  
  
^^^ Back at the Shore of Frank's Beach ^^^  
  
Frank: Dude... They're gone... totally...  
  
*Everyone comes back in a POP*  
  
Laurel: Well, that's the end for now...  
  
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That's pretty cool... teehee.. I'll HAVE to see what Saasha thinks about this... lol! Anyways, R & R!! PLEASE! 


	6. Saasha's Revenge

Laurel: I really need some new ideas people! Anything you've noticed about Bishonens from shows!! Oh, and if you have any characters that you'd like me to turn into Bishonens (they cannot BE bishonens already... lol), let me know! But remember... I'm in Canada, we only get what the USA throws us for Anime... and it sucks... lol...  
  
Hen-Neko: And let us know what you'd like to see happen to Syaoran!  
  
Laurel: And Neko! ^_^  
  
Hen-Neko: Everyone loves me... They wouldn't d-  
  
Laurel: Mua Hahhahaha! Now! On to... uhg... the Disclaimer... poo...  
  
Disclaimer- I do NOT own CCS (poo on you CLAMP! POO ON YOU!), Syaoran (still working on that...), Sakura, Saasha (teehee), pretty colours, sparkles, bishonens, Cheese-in-a-Can, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, or... Death Scenes... Oh, nor do I own the word Totally... heh...  
  
Claimer: I DO own Frank, Hen-Neko (Mua hahhahahaha! Another few billion years and you'll be free Neko!), the right to torture Syaoran and all other CCS characters to the brink of insanity... As long as CLAMP doesn't find out... *shifty eyes*  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Chapter Five = Saasha's Revenge...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
^^^ Back at the Shore of Frank's Beach ^^^  
  
Frank: Dude... They're gone... totally...  
  
*Everyone comes back in a POP*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Syaoran: Glad THAT's over...  
  
Frank: DUUUUDE... You're TOTALLY not dead! Like, totally...  
  
Laurel: *looks at Hen-Neko suspiciously* Did you eat all the Natives...? *narrows eyes*  
  
Hen-Neko: Noooo! What makes you think that...? heh... heh... *slurps up a rat tail that was hanging out of his mouth* ^_~  
  
Laurel: Well, it's ok... I did the same when I first visited Distant Island... It was Thanksgiving and...  
  
Hen-Neko: Uhg... Here it goes...  
  
Laurel: I was traveling on my boat, looking for Indiandia to find the Indiandians and trade them for some candy... Then, when I came to land, it wasn't Indiandia, It was a place that was different... and it had a kind of smelly smell... that smelled... smelly... So I called it Distant Island and claimed it for the land of Laurelannia!! Then I met the Natives, who were rats and a strange girl with strange ways... and strangeness...  
  
Syaoran: What is the point of this story...? How does this help me?  
  
Laurel: We had a marvelous feast of roots, coconuts and Natives... Those rats shouldn't have trusted us...  
  
Syaoran: Okaaay...  
  
Frank: Totally far out, man! *High Fives Laurel*  
  
Hen-Neko: I thought that only Hippies said 'far out'...  
  
Frank: I am a hippy, like, totally save the whales, man..  
  
Laurel: Yaw!!! Teehee...  
  
Syaoran: Uh huh... Ok, Why am I still a Bishonen!?  
  
Frank: Dude... You totally wiped out. You like, totally unbalanced the Cheese-in-a-Can levels of the world... Bad vibes man...  
  
Syaoran: Oh no... What will we do... *rolls eyes*  
  
Laurel: Do not mock the Cheese-in-a-Can's power! It is what made us all! Except the Bishis... His Sexiness created them... I have an idea!!! Syaoran, we could go to the castle of Bishiman and ask him to turn you back!!!!  
  
Syaoran: *He sighed, this was taking longer than he had hoped...* And where is his castle...?  
  
Laurel: On Distant Island! Everyone except Laurel: * anime-falls* What!?  
  
Hen-Neko: We were JUST there! Why didn't you say anything?  
  
Laurel: I dunno... ^_^  
  
Syaoran: well, hurry up and 'poof' us there!  
  
Laurel: I can't do that! I need some suspense in this fic! ^_^  
  
Syaoran: Ahg! Come on! I'm getting sick of this!!  
  
Laurel: Teehee! ^o^  
  
^^^ Meanwhile, on Distant Island ^^^  
  
Bishiman: *is wearing pink pajamas and skipping around his castle* La la la la la la!  
  
Guard: Um... Sir...? There's a Native here wishing to speak with you...  
  
Bishman: Well, send them in then! And don't call me SIR, am an 'Your Sexiness' to you!  
  
Guard: Ok then...  
  
*The Guard leaves and returns with Saasha in front of him.*  
  
Saasha: Your Royal Sexiness, I must make a complaint! *tells the story of how the 'newcomers' came and ate all the Natives* And that's why the balance of Cheese-in-a-Can has been thrown off balance!  
  
Bishiman: Wow!  
  
Saasha: Teehee! Anyway, you must do something about it!!!  
  
Bishiman: Why?  
  
Saasha: I dunno... Cause the yellow elves will steal all the Cheese-in-a- Can if you don't?  
  
Bishiman: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Will Bishiman do something about it? Will the natives regenerate? Will Syaoran appease Bishiman? Who knows, who cares. Until next time... get out of my face... Teehee!  
  
Read and Review! You ideas are ALWAYS welcome! Yay! *scurries off* 


	7. Row, Row the Hairball Boat

Laurel: How is everyone today?  
  
studio audience: Good Laurel, how about yoooouuuu?  
  
Laurel: Good! Yay! Now then, Today we are going to answer a few reviews! Three to be exact (just check the reviews to see who said what.)  
  
Arikandrishin- Teehee! You're name is funny! I'm glad you liked it so far!!!  
  
Aimee Damita- Hey... that's not your name you poo! Teehee... You're Saasha, the Native of Distant Island!! Everyone meet her!! Teehee... I can't wait for the wedding!! *cries*  
  
sign58- Yay! Random, Weird and Strange! My three middle names! (Hen-Neko: Laurel random-weird-strange Chaisson? Hmm... It all makes sense now...)  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Bishiman (his sexiness), Saasha, CCS, Syaoran, Cheese-in-a-Can or Hairballs!  
  
Claimer: I DO own Distant Island (50% of it), Hen-Neko, and Frank.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Chapter Seven = Row, Row the Hairball Boat...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Saasha: Teehee! Anyway, you must do something about it!!!  
  
Bishiman: Why?  
  
Saasha: I dunno... Cause the yellow elves will steal all the Cheese-in-a- Can if you don't?  
  
Bishiman: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
^^^ Back at Frank's Beach ^^^  
  
Syaoran: How are we going to get to Distant Island if you don't Poof us!!??  
  
Laurel: Well, you're going to have to build a boat! ^_^'  
  
Hen-Neko: What are we going to make a boat out of here? Laurel: *stares at Neko crazily*  
  
Hen-Neko: ...What?  
  
Laurel: Well, every time you spit up a hairball under my bed, I just collect it in a bag and stuff it in the Plot Hole! I knew I could use it some time!!!  
  
Hen-Neko: WHAT!! I do not spit up hairballs under your bed.... Never... ya... that's right...  
  
Laurel: Then what is this? *pulls out bag of hairballs*  
  
Hen-Neko: O_o" Umm... You knew the whole time!!!???  
  
Syaoran: Ahg... That is SO gross...  
  
Laurel: ^_^  
  
^^^ A Few, Disgusting, Minutes Later ^^^  
  
Laurel: Done! Finally!  
  
Syaoran: This is so nauseating... I am not going to use this as a boat...  
  
*The hairball-canoe (because I'm Canadian) is sitting in from of them all as they survey their work.*  
  
Hen-Neko: This is so embarrassing... uck...  
  
Laurel: We had better get in and hurry up so we can get to Distant Island!  
  
Syaoran and Hen-Neko: You must be kidding...  
  
Laurel: *pauses for a moment to think* ...nope! ^_^  
  
*Everyone moves toward the hairball-boat slowly and reluctantly...*  
  
Laurel: Oh, wait!! I wanted to do one more thing... *pulls out her laptop and types erratically on the screen.* There!  
  
*Sakura appears out of nowhere*  
  
Sakura: o_O Where am I? Laurel: At the beach, we're going to Distant Island to ask Bishiman to turn Syaoran into a non-bishi so that he won't stop tripping over his hair and having to swat sparkles from his face!!  
  
Sakura: Oh... Why am I here then?  
  
Laurel: I need you for the rest of the story! ^_^  
  
Sakura: Oh... Well, then why is Nakuru here...?  
  
Nakuru: Ya, why am I here?  
  
Laurel: 'Cause! No one else here is crazy!! ^_^  
  
Nakuru: Oooooo! Good reason!  
  
*Laurel and Nakuru dance around crazily for a few hours.*  
  
Syaoran: Can we just get going!?  
  
Laurel: Why didn't you say that earlier!  
  
Sakura: He did... He's been saying it for the past three hours... -_-'  
  
Nakuru and Laurel: Oh... Ok!  
  
Everyone but Nakuru and Laurel: Uhg...  
  
*They all climb into the boat unwillingly and Laurel and Nakuru begin to row, singing... VERY loudly...*  
  
Laurel: Row, row, the hairball boat!  
  
Nakuru: Erratically through the ocean!  
  
Laurel: crazily, crazily, crazily, crazily...  
  
Nakuru: Life is made of Cheese... in a can...!  
  
Hen-Neko: Make it stop... PLEASE, make it STOP!!!  
  
^^^ Meanwhile, at Bishiman's Lair (or the Bishi-lair) ^^^ Saasha: *dances around* I'm betrothed to Bishiman! I'm betrothed to Bishiman! Yayness!  
  
Maid: Umm... You sure that's a good thing....?  
  
Saasha: Of COURSE it is! He's HOT!  
  
Maid: That may be true M'lady... but... He's a little...  
  
Saasha: A little what? *blinks innocently*  
  
Maid: Well... Gay...  
  
Saasha: O_o WHAT!?  
  
Maid: It's true... He dances to Britney Spears every chance he gets in his quarters..  
  
Saasha: Well this will NOT do... He'll have to go through the seven rules.  
  
Maid: The... Seven Rules?  
  
Saasha: You know! The rules on how to become Saasha's Dream Guy!  
  
One- Must not be Gay Two- Must not secretly be a girl... Three- Must be extremely sexy Four- Must be evil and creepy... or have the ability to become so... Five- Brain is optional. Six- No, no, I change my mind! Must have somewhat of a brain... Seven- Did I mention extremely sexy!?!?  
  
Maid: okaaay...  
  
Saasha: *Runs off to begin his training*  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Will Bishiman learn the Seven Rules? Will Saasha marry him? Will Hen-Neko ever spit up a haiball under Laurel's bed again? Find out next time on... THE BISHONEN PHENOMENA! 


	8. We're off to see Bishiman

First, a few reviews:  
  
Aimee Damita- Yep! Teehee  
  
Clair-chan- OMG! I just love your fics! They inspired me to stick Nakuru in here! lol. Anyways, I'm really glad that you like me ficcy!  
  
LavenderAlana- Umm... That'd be me sister... *cough cough*  
  
Bonnie-chan- He's GAY!?? OMG! I had NO idea! Teehee  
  
Serena: Yay! Here's that chappy you wanteded!  
  
#####################################################################  
  
Hen-Neko: Hello everyone!  
  
Laurel: *is sobbing in the background*  
  
Hen-Neko: Um... Laurel just figured out what strawberry milk looks like...  
  
Laurel: *pauses* Huh? What does it look like...?  
  
Hen-Neko: If I tell you you'll start screaming and freaking out again...  
  
Laurel: That's absurd! Why would I do that?  
  
Hen-Neko: Ok... Remember, it's Pepto-Bisma-  
  
Laurel: OMG!!! You're right!! Pepto-Bismal!! EWWWW!! *curls up in a corner and begins to suck her thumb*  
  
Hen-Neko: Ok... I guess I'm doing the disclaimer today. Hmm... it's supposed to be funny huh...? *grabs the laptop and begins to type, very slowly*  
  
Disclaimer: Hmm... Ok... She doesn't own Card Captor Sakura... nor Syaoran, though it seems she has been trying for years to do so... Oh... that was supposed to be made into a joke... oops. Well, there's something about not owning the seven rules here, and also not owning cheese-in-a-can... hmm... Ok then... I don't see how that is funny... Doesn't have catnip mentioned anywhere... meh...  
  
Claimer: What is this for... Oh, I get it... ok, she owns... ME!? Uhg... Umm... nevermind...  
  
Laurel: *raises eyebrow and frowns* Neko.... You suck at being funny...  
  
Hen-Neko: Strawberry milk.  
  
Laurel: AHHHH!  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Chapter Eight = We're Off to see Bishiman...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Maid: The... Seven Rules?  
  
Saasha: You know! The rules on how to become Saasha's Dream Guy! One- Must not be Gay Two- Must not secretly be a girl... Three- Must be extremely sexy Four- Must be evil and creepy... or have the ability to become so... Five- Brain is optional. Six- No, no, I change my mind! Must have somewhat of a brain... Seven- Did I mention extremely sexy!?!?  
  
Maid: okaaay...  
  
Saasha: *Runs off to begin his training*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
^^^ In the hairball boat, in the middle of the ocean... somewhere ^^^  
  
*Laurel and Nakuru are STILL singing, Hen-Neko is cautiously watching the water, Syaoran is trying to drown out the singing, and Sakura is still wondering why she's here...*  
  
Laurel: LOOK EVERYONE!!! LA-  
  
*a crashing sound is heard and everyone lurches out of the boat and lands on the shore of Distant Island*  
  
Laurel: ND!  
  
Hen-Neko: Wooo-whoo!  
  
Syaoran and Sakura: Finally...  
  
*Laurel stares at them with a neurotic smile pasted on her face. She begins to giggle crazily.*  
  
Syaoran: ...what?  
  
*Nakuru stands beside Laurel and grins idiotically, it doesn't take her long to start giggling like a maniac as well.*  
  
Sakura: What are you two laughing about...?  
  
*they glance at each other and continue laughing hysterically*  
  
Syaoran and Sakura: WHAT!? Laurel: You guys... are SOOOOOOOOOO cute together... *smiles crazily*  
  
Syaoran + Sakura (teehee): *Blush*  
  
Nakuru: hehehehehhehehhehehehehhehehehhehehehehehheheh!!  
  
*Laurel joins in on the insane laughing*  
  
Hen-Neko: Okay... This is uselessly stupid...  
  
Laurel: But it does help with the ratings!! ^_^  
  
*Every S+S fan out there cheers with delight*  
  
Laurel: See! Told ya!  
  
Syaoran: *Rolls eyes, finally recovering his 'I-don't-care' face.* Let's just get to Bishiman's Castle, ok...  
  
Laurel: Sure!!! OK!  
  
*Wizard of Oz music starts to play*  
  
Laurel: We're off to see the Bishiman! The Supreme Being of Bishonens!  
  
*Nakuru joins in*  
  
Nakuru: Because, Because, Because, Becaaaauuuuse... Laurel and Nakuru: Because Syaoran becoming a girly boy!  
  
Syaoran: HEY!  
  
^^^ At Bishiman's Castle ^^^  
  
*Currently, Saasha is trying to teach Bishiman the seven rules. It isn't going very well, as you will soon see...*  
  
Bishiman: *begins combing his very long, flowing, black hair* I don't get it... ^_^  
  
Saasha: -_-' Ok... It's like... It's like this: my 'dream guy' must not be GAY...  
  
Bishiman: *smiles stupidly* I'm not gay! Saasha: O_o!! What!!?? You're not!? Well then... *pauses* Are you sure...?  
  
*Bishiman nods idiotically once again, and Saasha seems pleased... ... ... though even I, the narrator, is not so sure...*  
  
^^^ Outside of Bishiman's Castle ^^^  
  
Laurel: Follow the yellow brick road! Follow the yellow brick road! Follow the yel-  
  
Hen-Neko: Laurel... It's not yellow... -_-' It's PINK!!!!!!!!  
  
Laurel: Why did you say so?  
  
Sakura: We've all been telling you since you started singing... with the exception of Nakuru, that is...  
  
Nakuru: I've been dancing! Yay me!  
  
Laurel: Yay you!  
  
Nakuru and Laurel: Follow the gay pink road! Follow the gay pink road! Follow the gay pink raod! Follow the ga-  
  
Voice: HALT!  
  
Laurel: Ah-kay!  
  
Syaoran, Hen-Neko, and Sakura: Who's there?  
  
Laurel and Nakuru: Ooooooo... Disembodied voice...  
  
Laurel: Can I get your autograph Mr. Disembodied Voice?  
  
Nakuru: I love you Disembodied Voice!!!  
  
Voice: Ok....  
  
Syaoran: *Pulls out sword* Show yourself!  
  
Sakura: *Retrieves the Star Wand* Who are you!  
  
*Several feathers float silently to the ground in front of them*  
  
Hen-Neko: Pigeon feathers... yuck, flying rats...  
  
Yue: WHAT!? Pigeon!!?? *lands angrily before them*  
  
Hen-Neko: I know a feather when I see one... I know from experience not to eat anything with pigeon feathers... you flying rat-person...  
  
Yue: Grrrrr....  
  
Sakura: Hi Yue! What're you doing here?  
  
Yue: *glares at Neko and looks toward Sakura* I'm a Bishonen... I live here...  
  
Sakura: *snorts, trying to contain her laughter* So... you're one of Bishiman's... MINIONS!!! *falls on the ground laughing hysterically*  
  
Yue: *glares* So what...  
  
Syaoran: That's low...  
  
Yue: You shouldn't be talking girly-boy...  
  
Laurel: See! I told you!  
  
Syaoran: *screeches and chops off his hair again with his sword, this time it almost immediately grows back and he's stuck in an ending circle of cut- grow-cut-grow*  
  
Sakura: It's getting worse...  
  
Yue: Well, you'd better hurry up and get to Bishiman's Castle, it's almost Tea-time.  
  
Laurel: Oooooooo! Tea!!! What kind!?  
  
Yue: I think it's Strawberry milk toda-  
  
Laurel: *begins to sob*  
  
Yue: O_o  
  
Hen-Neko: She thinks that it looks like Peptobismal...  
  
*Sobbing grows louder*  
  
Syaoran: Anyways... Let's get going.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
That was pretty long this time... lol. REALLY sorry that I haven't updated in a while. It's been Christmas and all... lol... 


	9. A Tea Party If That's What You'd Call it

*In a vast place void of colour, Laurel is seen standing in front a large monument in the shape of a keyboard and pencil. To her right, there is another statue; of an eraser and a thing of whiteout (what's with you 'liquid-paper' people...? Phfff... Liquid paper! Lol... *dodges bullets* ack!)*  
  
Laurel: Hmm...  
  
Hen-Neko: *blinks* What are you doing...? You've been standing in this place for three hours doing nothing... -_-'  
  
Laurel: Oh, I've been thinking of what to say to the Plot Goddess *motions to the keyboard/pencil statue* and the Typo God *motions to the eraser and whiteout statue*...  
  
Hen-Neko: Then what are the buckets of red paint for...?  
  
Laurel: Oh, those? Those are so that I can throw the red paint all over the plot god's statue to appeal to the God of Writer's Block *points to a large black box... (dave... what are you doing dave... Teehee...)* and then run back to the Plot Goddess and plead forgiveness.  
  
Hen-Neko: Ok... Umm... I don't want to be here to see this...  
  
Laurel: *Grabs her paint and runs off* Muahaha... Oh wait! First I'll do the Disclaimer and Claimer!!  
  
Disclaimer- For some reason CLAMP threw me out of their main building when I went running through the place wearing a towel as a cape and screaming at the top of my lungs, "I have come to steal your Syaorans! Please put all Syaorans in a bag with a money sign on it and give it to me!" Jeez... Anyways, that was my attempt at owning Syaoran once again, soooo... I don't... YET! I also have to ownage over CCS, the seven rules, tea, pepto- Bismal, Strawberry Milk, Cheese-in-a-Can, Bishonens and... Tea parties... yay!  
  
Claimer: I DO own... SYAORAN! *Is sued* Dammit! Ok ok... I DO own...*coughsyaorancough* ......YES *is sued* DAMN! -_- ok ok... I give up...  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Chapter Nine = A Tea Party if That's What You'd Call it...  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Yue: Well, you'd better hurry up and get to Bishiman's Castle, it's almost Tea-time.  
  
Laurel: Oooooooo! Tea!!! What kind!?  
  
Yue: I think it's Strawberry milk toda-  
  
Laurel: *begins to sob*  
  
Yue: O_o  
  
Hen-Neko: She thinks that it looks like Peptobismal...  
  
*Sobbing grows louder*  
  
Syaoran: Anyways... Let's get going.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
^^^ In Bishiman's courtyard... it's pink... and has statues of kittens and puppies... awwwww.... and gay... ^^^  
  
Yue: And here's the courtyard... where Bishiman has his tea.  
  
Laurel: This is disturbing... ... ... ... YAY!  
  
Syaoran: *Is once again gnawing his hair off* So... When can we talk to him so that I can GO BACK TO NORMAL!!!???  
  
Yue: -_- After the tea party.... You can join us.  
  
Sakura: Us?  
  
^^^ A few minutes later, the gang is sitting at a HUGE pink table in the courtyard... most of the seats are taken up by teddy-bears and other stuffed animals, but the remaining seats are reserved with small pieces of paper with names on them ^^^  
  
Laurel: Let's see who else is here... *grabs a note and reads it out loud* Pegasus... What kind of name is that!! *laughs*  
  
Sakura: Eroil...? -_-' Laurel... why is he invited...?  
  
Laurel: *shifty look* I didn't do it... *eyes move at speed of light back and forth*  
  
Hen-Neko: Laurel... It's in YOUR handwriting...  
  
Sakura: Ya, and you didn't even spell his last name right...  
  
Laurel: Umm... I didn't... Umm... TAKE THAT! *Throws cheese at them and ducks, as if it would explode*  
  
Syaoran: O_o Oki... *Grabs a note from a chair* WHAT!?? This has MY name on it!!  
  
Laurel: ^_^ YEP! Teehee...  
  
*Just then Bishiman, Saasha, Pegasus, Yukito, Sesshomaru, and a bunch of other henchman-looking Bishonens enter the courtyard and sit down at the pink table.*  
  
Bishiman: Hello everyone! ^_^  
  
Laurel: Hello Your Sexiness!  
  
Syaoran: Stop my torture now.  
  
Nakuru: Hi Your Sexiness!  
  
Syaoran: Stop my torture now...  
  
Laurel: Hi Saasha!!!  
  
Saasha: Hiya Laurel! Oink!  
  
Laurel: Moo!  
  
Saasha: oohl-  
  
Syaoran: STOP MY TORTURE NOW!  
  
Bishiman: I'll think about it after Tea...  
  
*The tea goes well... if you'd call Laurel's sobbing over Strawberry Milk, Hen-Neko's apparent fear of crumpets and Syaoran's mumbling, good, then yes, it was good!*  
  
Syaoran: Done. Stop. My. Torture... Now....  
  
Bishiman: Well... you see... I can't! ^_^ Syaoran: Why not!?  
  
Bishiman: I need the plot-sword, I believe Laurel has that item...  
  
*All eyes turn to Laurel*  
  
Laurel: Huh? What? I wasn't listening...  
  
Syaoran: You told me that I had to go see Bishiman to get it stopped... And he tells me that he needs the sword that YOU have!!!!???  
  
Laurel: The Plot-Sword? Oh... I lost it...  
  
Everyone but Nakuru and Laurel: WHAT!??  
  
Laurel: You see, I was playing poker with some people and......  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Laurel: Cheat!  
  
The Grim Reaper: Laurel... We're playing Poker... not Cheat...  
  
Laurel: Oooooooh... Go Fish!  
  
Nakuru: Ha haw! I got the Old Maid to dance in a circle around the fishing pond! Now I get to take all of your cards Typo-Man!  
  
Typo-man: -_-' That dosn't evene make anysense....  
  
Laurel: Five Sevens! I win!!  
  
Sesshomaru: You can't even get five sevens... what are you doing...?  
  
Laurel: Ok! I'm in a lucky streak! So... I bet the Plot-Sword, This Can of Cheese... and... All of Neko's Catnip!  
  
^^^ Ten minutes later ^^^  
  
Laurel: Hmm.. Neko's not going to be happy...  
  
Great Deku Tree: Ye lose, I have thy sword of plottedness!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Hen-Neko: WHAT!?? You lost my Catnip!!??  
  
Laurel: Heh heh...  
  
Syoaran: You lost the Plot-Sword!??  
  
Nakuru: You lost the Cheese-in-a-Can!?  
  
Sakura: Nakuru... You were there, remember?  
  
Nakuru: Oh yaw! ^_^  
  
Syaoran: Now we've got to go where to get this stupid sword...?  
  
Laurel: Hyrule! ^_^  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Will Syaoran ever turn back to normal? Does Laurel Even know how to play Poker? Where is Hyrule anyway...? All of these questions will *coughnotcough* be answered in the next chapter of... The Bishonen Phenomena! 


	10. Welcome to Zurth

Laurel: This chapter is brought to you by....  
  
Magical Sporks of Doom!  
  
For no apparent reason!  
  
Disclaimer: Well, I've been sued far to many times now... I'm going to have to give up on owning Syaoran for a while... *grabs a bottle of ink and a piece of paper* Muahaha... *begins to use her finger to write a threatening letter to CLAMP* Since I can no longer afford a pen, I will do it this way... muahaha...  
  
Claimer: I do own Hen-Neko (muahahahahahahaha...) And Lon Lon Ranch... that's right... I Own Lon Lon Ra- *Is sued* DAMMIT!!!! ok ok...  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Chapter Ten = Welcome to Zurth  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Syoaran: You lost the Plot-Sword!??  
  
Nakuru: You lost the Cheese-in-a-Can!?  
  
Sakura: Nakuru... You were there, remember?  
  
Nakuru: Oh yaw! ^_^  
  
Syaoran: Now we've got to go where to get this stupid sword...?  
  
Laurel: Hyrule! ^_^  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*After the Tea Party was ended, and all goodbyes were said, Laurel, using her amazing Authoress powers, teleported everyone into the dimension in which the planet Zurth, and country, Hyrule, the birthplace of Link, the 'hero of time' (from the Zelda games... you know) lived... and holy crap was that ever a long freakin' sentence...Anyway, they appeared in the middle of a large field, and while it had been afternoon on Earth, on Zurth, and in Hyrule Field, it was nearly midnight.*  
  
Laurel: Well, here we are... Hyrule Field. I've always wanted to do a fanfiction here... and since I don't have the time, AND I need a new plot I'll add it here!! ^_^ Nakuru: Ooo! Ooo! What a great idea!!!!!! ^_^  
  
Laurel: I know!!! ^_^  
  
Nakuru: ^_^  
  
Laurel: ^_^  
  
Syaoran: Umm... Can we just get this over with...?  
  
Hen-Neko: If you haven't noticed... It's night, it's cold, and there happens to be a large ghost-monster-thing standing behind us...  
  
Sakura: *Shrieks and leaps into Syaoran's arms*  
  
Syaoran: *blushes*  
  
Laurel: ^_^ Muahaha... This is all too good to be true...  
  
Sakura: Eeeep! *jumps out of his arms and blushes*  
  
Laurel: *Watches the ratings go up* Muahahahahahaha...  
  
The Poe: BOO!  
  
Everyone: AHHH!  
  
*They ran for hours, in which many comical things happened, such as running the wrong way and chasing him instead, or running in circles, or sneaking away until finally they came to an opening at a building. Dashing in, everyone hurriedly rushed into the place. Suddenly everything flashed white and went back to normal. The Ghost had, for some reason, not followed them...*  
  
Laurel: *looks around* Oh my God!  
  
Hen-Neko: Oh God no... not now...  
  
Laurel: *Runs around* Lon lon lon lon lon lon lon!  
  
Nakuru: *Joins her* Sakura: What is she doing!?  
  
Hen-Neko: It's Lon Lon Ranch... her favorite place... next to the Zora Domain... Syaoran: How long is she going to be doing this...?  
  
Hen-Neko: It depends... if we kill her now... not very long.  
  
Malon: What the hell is going on out here?  
  
Laurel: Oh my God! *Dashes over to the red-headed girl and tackles her*  
  
Malon: Holy Shit! *pushes her off*  
  
Laurel: Coooool!! It's Malon! Coooooooooooooooooooooooooool...  
  
Malon: *is slightly freaked out* What are all you freaking people doing in our ranch!?  
  
Laurel: Well, you see, Syaoran here is trying to not become girly-boy by finding the Plot-Sword and using it to chop off his hair. Originally, I had the plot sword but I lost it in a card game with a bunch of people to the Deku Tree.  
  
Malon: *blinks* Umm... ok... *pauses and looks at Syaoran* What the hell are you staring at, freak!?  
  
Syaoran: *blink blink* Umm... Nothing...  
  
Sakura: *Hits him on the head with the Star Wand* Syaoran! *Glares at him*  
  
Hen-Neko: ... Anyways... We need a way we can easily get to the Kokiri's Forest, where the Deku Tree is...  
  
Malon: Well... I know someone who can take you there...  
  
Nakuru: Who?  
  
Malon: *whispers gravely*... Navi....  
  
Hen-Neko: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  
  
Laurel: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sakura: ....who?  
  
Malon: Navi... The most annoying creature on the face of the Zurth...  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ Woah... It's getting pretty good so far. I've got a whole plot-idea going here. I hope most of you have heard of the Legend of Zelda games, which is what this next part of this fanfiction... Anyways... Read and Review everyone!!! bi bi!!! 


	11. Lon Lon Milk

Laurel: It's that time again!  
  
Hen-Neko: What time?  
  
Laurel: 11:27 am!!  
  
Hen-Neko:... And that means what?  
  
Laurel: Time for me to answer some reader reviews! ^_^  
  
Hen-Neko: ...You have one, so it's review.  
  
Laurel: So...  
  
Chibi Cherry Blossom: Don't worry... my S + S torture has only just begun! Muahahahahahahahahaha..  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own CCS, Cheese-in-a-Can, melted marshmallows, Typoman, Navi, The Legend of Zelda games, Malon, Lon Lon Milk, and the ability to play poker!  
  
Claimer: I do own the idea of the claimer, the plot-sword, Hen-Neko's life, that cheese I bought today and the right to be weird and strange at all times! ^_^ Yay!  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Chapter Eleven = Lon Lon Milk  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Malon: Well... I know someone who can take you there...  
  
Nakuru: Who?  
  
Malon: *whispers gravely*... Navi....  
  
Hen-Neko: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!  
  
Laurel: YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Sakura: ....who?  
  
Malon: Navi... The most annoying creature on the face of the Zurth... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ^^^ At the gate of Lon Lon Ranch ^^^  
  
Malon: Here, take some... *Music starts to play and she holds up a bottle and stands looking out into space* LON LON MILK! It'll solve all of your problems! It'll destroy those evil-doers running amok! It'll give you a spaceship! *smiles*  
  
Everyone else: Umm... What are you doing...?  
  
Malon: Huh? Oh, just... *looks off into space again* Telling everyone about LON LON MILK! It'll solve all your problems! It'll destro-  
  
Hen-Neko: Ya... we heard that part already...  
  
Malon: Don't you want some... LON LON MIL-  
  
Syaoran: We'll take some if you SHUT UP!  
  
Malon: Ok ok... Phfff... *Gives them about 800 bottles* Now, you'll find Navi in the Zora Domain annoying the Zoras there... It's her favorite pastime...  
  
Laurel: Oh My God! That's MY favorite pastime too!!! ^o^  
  
Malon: Wonderful... you'll like Navi then... -_-'  
  
Syaoran: Where is this... Sora Domain?  
  
Laurel and Nakuru: ZORA!  
  
Syaoran: zora then... jeez...  
  
Malon: Just follow that river over there, by the castle.  
  
*Our heros set out in search of Navi, the fairy, in the home of the Zoras - also known as the fish-people, or fish-stick-people. The journey was long and annoyingly loud, thanks to Laurel and Nakuru. Originally, the travel would have taken a few hours, but Laurel decided that her 'routes' were much quicker that the straight to the point one...*  
  
Syaoran: Umm... Laurel... the Zoras are fish-people, right?  
  
Laurel: Yep! Sakura: Then why are we on the top of Death Mountain? -_-'  
  
Laurel: Because, it's a secret route that will get us there much faster! Hen-Neko: Three days is faster?  
  
Laurel:.......... Shut up!  
  
Syaoran: We should probably set up camp here in this cave until morning...  
  
Nakuru and Laurel: Ooooooooooh...  
  
Hen-Neko: YES!  
  
*The next morning everyone awoke early... to find that Hen-Neko had spent the night drinking every bottle of Lon Lon Milk they had. He lay in a pile of open bottles snoring.*  
  
Sakura: Ahhh! Neko! What did you do!?  
  
Hen-Neko: Huh, huh? Wha-? Huh? What about cheese and froot loops?  
  
Syaoran: O_o Umm... Hen-Neko?  
  
Hen-Neko: You... you are... soooooooo... weird... *A burp interrupts his slurred speech*  
  
Laurel: What is IN this milk...? *picks up a bottle* Holy crap!  
  
Nakuru: What is it?  
  
Laurel: *reads the label* "This milk may contain as much sugar as three Pixie-Sticks... "  
  
Nakuru: O_O That's more than three hundred dump-trucks full of sugar!  
  
Syaoran: Woah... Pixie-Sticks are that concentrated, huh?  
  
Laurel: It's dangerous... no wonder Malon is insane...  
  
Hen-Neko: Stop hitting me with dried fish!!! *ducks imaginary attacks* AHHH!  
  
Everyone: Ummm...  
  
Nakuru: Hey! This is almost like what happened when I fed Suppi-chan all of those boxes of cookies after I dipped them in sugar-paste! ^_^  
  
Laurel: Except... *watches Neko* he didn't run around screaming, "With Bob as my witness, I will never wear shoes on my head again."....  
  
Nakuru: No... no, he didn't... hmm...  
  
Syaoran: Hen-Neko was the only sane one here! Now we're doomed! DOOMED!!!! *chews his hair*  
  
Sakura: *takes out the Star wand* Wood! Make a rope and tie up Hen-Neko!  
  
*The Wood card does so and Neko begins to hum "I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts".*  
  
Sakura: There, that should hold him until it wears off...  
  
Laurel: Well.......  
  
Syaoran: It will wear off... right?  
  
Nakuru: With so much sugar... it's unlikely...  
  
Sakura: You mean he could be stuck this way.... FOREVER!?  
  
Laurel: I'm afraid so... We have to find an antidote... Until then, we'll have to keep going and see if anyone has it.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Muahahahahahaha... Those pixie sticks are pure evil... lol. Anyway, that's it for now! 


	12. Hey! Look! Listen!

Laurel: Nothing to talk about today! MUST DO STORY!  
  
Hen-Neko: Looloolooloo.... lalalalal.... teehee... *rolls around*  
  
Laurel: Umm... anyways...  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own CCS or the Characters in it, pixie-sticks, sugar, Zelda, Navi, Hyrule, Zoras, Lon Lon Ranch, Lon Lon Milk, Alana, cheese-in-a- can or... a laptop... *sigh*......  
  
Claimer: I DO own Hen-Neko, this story and... NOTHING! YAY!!!  
  
Hen-Neko: DOOP DOOP!!!  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Chapter Twelve = Hey! Look! Listen!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Sakura: There, that should hold him until it wears off...  
  
Laurel: Well.......  
  
Syaoran: It will wear off... right?  
  
Nakuru: With so much sugar... it's unlikely...  
  
Sakura: You mean he could be stuck this way.... FOREVER!?  
  
Laurel: I'm afraid so... We have to find an antidote... Until then, we'll have to keep going and see if anyone has it.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*With Hen-Neko tied up and rambling, they trudged forward, until finally, they came to the aptly named, Zora River. They stopped in front of the waterfall entrance to rest for the night, and there was much rejoicing. Hen- Neko, who had been gnawing at his binds for several hours finally broke through and issued this call: *  
  
Hen-Neko: Chicken! Whoop! Whoop! CHICKEN! *Scrambling from the mess of chewed roots, he darted around, chasing the Cuccos - Zurthling equivalents of Chickens - around the area.* Laurel: Neko, don't!! Remember what happens when you piss off a Cucco!!  
  
*Suddenly, millions of Cuccos appear out of nowhere and begin to ram Hen- Neko until he finally becomes unconscious.*  
  
Syaoran: o.0 Woah... these things are dangerous...  
  
Laurel: Yep... pretty much...  
  
*With the sleeping Hen-Neko in tow (hey, that rhymed!) they followed the river a while until they came to a large waterfall. At this point Laurel informed them all that going through it was the only way... They were trying to decide a plan of action when...*  
  
Laurel: I gots an idear!  
  
Syaoran: -_-' riiiight...  
  
Hen-Neko: Y'know wha? *talking to Sakura*  
  
Sakura: Yes Neko?  
  
Hen-Neko: Yur one hot babe... did'ya kno- *Is cut off by a slap*  
  
Sakura: NEKO!  
  
Laurel: Woah... that is amazingly disturbing... *grabs her camera* I'm gonna make a scrap book!!  
  
Syaoran: *glares at Hen-Neko*  
  
Hen-Neko: la la la la la....  
  
Laurel: Anyways, where was I... oh yaw! I gots an idear! *She glares at the waterfall, and with her AAP (Amazing Authoress Powers) she commands the waterfall to open and allow them to pass through. After that didn't work she rang the doorbell and the waterfall parted, showing a long, dark tunnel.*  
  
Laurel: Well, let's get going!  
  
*After a long water-slide ride they finally ended up in the middle of the Zoras' pool. A scene of shells and starfish and other ocean-creatures unfolded around them and the sounds of some sort of harpy-underwater- instrument entered their ears..... Along with Laurel's laughter and Hen- Neko's babbling.* Voice in the distance: HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY! HEY!  
  
*A blue, fish-like-humanoid-creature comes around the corner and toward them. The Zora has an annoyed look on his face. Floating above his head is a glowing blue ball with two small white wings fluttering erratically above it.*  
  
Zora: -_-  
  
Blue Ball: HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY!!!!  
  
Zora: WHAT? NAVI, WHAT DO YOU WANT!???  
  
Navi: Listen!  
  
Zora: What... is ... it...?  
  
Navi: LOOK! *flutters over to Laurel* Hey!  
  
Laurel: Hi Navi!  
  
Navi: Look! *flutters over to the Zora* Listen!  
  
Laurel: Hey! *Walks over to the Zora* HEY!  
  
Zora: AUHG!! It's YOU! Go away!! LEAVE US ALONE!!! o_O  
  
Syaoran: I'm guessing this is Navi, huh...?  
  
Laurel: Yep! *turns to Navi, the faery* Hey! Navi, we need your help!  
  
Navi: Listen... what is it?  
  
Laurel: Neko drank too much Lon Lon Milk and now he's hyper and we need to find an antidote! Also, we need a guide to get to the Deku Tree!  
  
Navi: *pauses to think* Look! *gestures to a large shell-like door to the right* Listen! The fish-queen is in there! Hey, she has the antidote!  
  
Laurel: Hey! That's perfect!  
  
Navi: Listen: Yay!  
  
Syaoran: *whispers to Sakura and Nakuru* Umm..what's with the 'hey', 'look' and 'listen' stuff?  
  
Nakuru: It's the language of Navi! ^_^  
  
Sakura: Oki doki then...  
  
Laurel: I figured out how to help Neko! We have to get the Antidote from the Fish-Queen!  
  
Sakura: Ya... we heard...  
  
Syaoran: Who's the Fish-Queen...?  
  
Laurel: My sister, Alana!  
  
Syaoran and Sakura; O.o  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Yes, it's true... Alana WILL be in the story! Muahahahahahhahah... 


	13. FlashBack Doom

Laurel: *walks into the vast wide open place that has 'Laurel's FanFic' written in huge Times New Roman font on it* Wow… haven't been here in a while… the monkeys have even left…  
  
*A tumble weed rolls by carrying a suitcase and wearing a hat. She watches it go by and grumbles about unfaithful weeds.*  
  
Laurel: Well then… I had better get to work!  
  
Hen-Neko: Jeep! Jeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! *flaps his arms wildly and flings himself out of a two-story house that… suddenly… appeared*  
  
Laurel: Yes, yes Neko… I know 'jeep jeep'… *points to the Jeep parked outside the house and shakes her head* It's weird having Neko like this… but it's also highly disturbing and entertaining… YAY! *pulls out her scrapbook* Let's see…  
  
*points to the pictures…*  
  
Laurel: Here's one of Neko Chewing on the Zoras' faces… aww…  
  
*turns the page*  
  
Laurel: And look at him attacking that innocent Cucco… oh my… I think it's the other way around… O_o  
  
Disclaimer- *deep breath* I do not own, Card Captor Sakura, Syaoran, Sakura, Nakuru, The Legend of Zelda, Zoras, Navi, Cuccos, Zora's Domain, harpy-evil-music, Flashbacks (only 1467 payments of $250.00 left!), Bishonen, Poker, Alana, Spam, Animal Crossing, Bob the purple cat (*sits in her 'Bob the purple cat shrine'* My precious…), The Jolly Dumple, homestarrunner.com, The Golf Club, Homestar's Knees Tech, Pixxie Sticks, OR *deep breath* the '99 Cow Heads' song.  
  
Claimer- I DO own Hen-Neko (muahaha…), Distant Island, The Plot Sword, the antidote, AND the idea of the Claimer (I've actually seen people use it! EEEEEEE! I'm cool!)  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Chapter Thirteen = Flash-Back Doom  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Laurel: I figured out how to help Neko! We have to get the Antidote from the Fish-Queen!  
  
Sakura: Ya... we heard...  
  
Syaoran: Who's the Fish-Queen...?  
  
Laurel: My sister, Alana!  
  
Syaoran and Sakura: O.o  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Laurel: Yes, it's true! My crazy, nutso sister is the queen of the Zoras! ^_^  
  
Sakura: Wasn't there a great big fat guy at one point?  
  
Laurel: Ya… uhh… *cough cough* umm…  
  
Neko: Fish… SHTICKS! *eyes grow wider*  
  
Laurel: You see… Neko ate him.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*Neko is shown eating a fat, creepy looking Zora.*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Laurel: And for some reason the Zoras didn't like that…  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*A Zora screams.*  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Laurel: And they said something about banishing us to the unholy underworld, yadda yaddda…  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Zora: We're gonna banish you to the unholy underworld, yadda yadda…  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Laurel: And so we left.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Scene shows Neko and Laurel leaving, Sad music is pla-  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Suddenly End Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Syaoran: STOP WITH THE FLASH-BACKS! If I see ONE MORE Fla-  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Syaoran: STOP WITH THE FLASH-BACKS! If I see ONE MORE Fla-  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback within a flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Syaoran: STOP WITH THE FLASH-BACKS! If I see ONE MORE Fla-  
  
~~~~~~~~~~Flashback within a flashback within a flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Syaoran: STOP WITH THE FLASH-BACKS! If I see ONE MORE Fla-  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End ALL Flashbacks~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Syaoran: AHG!!!  
  
Laurel: *laughs and types on her laptop-she-wishes-she-had*  
  
Sakura: Uh… right. Anyway, So how did your sister come to be the Queen then?  
  
Laurel: Well, she happened to be playing poker against some Zoras, and Bob the purple cat (that's for all you Animal Crossing Lovers out there! Go Dump Raiding! Whoop!).  
  
Syaoran: This had better not be a fla-  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Alana: I bet my Bob Shrine!  
  
Bob the purple cat: NOOOOOO! …pthptth…  
  
Zora One: …We haven't started yet…   
  
Alana: oh… I BET MY PURPLE CAT SHRINE!!!  
  
Zora Two: Uhh… let's just start the game then…  
  
^^^ A few minutes later ^^^  
  
Zora One: I can't believe Alana is winning…. -_-  
  
Alana: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I win again!  
  
Zora Two: Ok then! I bet King Zora's Crown!  
  
Bob the purple cat: Can he do that…? Pthptth…  
  
^^^ a few MORE minutes later ^^^  
  
Alana: I AM THE QUEEN OF THE FISH PEOPLE!!! All hail… my…. stuff… yeah.  
  
Zora One: YOU IDIOT!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End Flashback~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Nakuru: Awww… I wanted to play that day but I had to wash my pet snails…  
  
Syaoran: *to Sakura* remind me never to play poker against anyone related to Laurel. -_-'  
  
Sakura: *to Syaoran* Certainly. -_-'  
  
Hen-Neko: Certainly a beeeeeeeeeeeeeutifwul view… *is staring at Sakura… again…*  
  
Sakura: This is freaking me out. I'm so freaked out I can't even slap him.  
  
Syaoran: *slaps Neko*  
  
Hen-Neko: Oh, cheese-wazzlers…  
  
Sakura: Thanks Syao!  
  
Syaoran: Anytime.  
  
Laurel: *Has her scrapbook out and is buried in pictures* I cannot wait to show this to Neko… *looks up and grins at Sakura and Syaoran* Isn't that the cutest… protecting her from a deranged, sugar-high, half-cat, half-human, half-sane sidekick known as Hen-Neko… awwwwwwwwwwww… so sweet…  
  
Nakuru: Let's make a scrap-book!!!!!!!  
  
Laurel: OKAY!  
  
Syaoran: *is messing with his hair, trying to get it shorter again* We've been standing in front of this door for far too long. Aren't we going to go IN?  
  
Navi: *returns* Hey! Listen! …I got the key to the door, look!  
  
Laurel: *bounces out of her picture-pile* yay!  
  
Sakura: The door was locked?  
  
Syaoran: Navi left?  
  
Nakuru: Meatballs aren't round!?  
  
Sakura and Syaoran: *Both look at her*  
  
Nakuru: …Well they aren't! Technically…  
  
Laurel: *Grabs the key and shoves it into the lock* Here we go! *opens the door… revealing…*  
  
*The place is a mess and scattered with wrappers from chocolate bars. Noises from a television reach their ears and an old couch sits in the middle of the sandy-floored, blue-walled room. Upon the couch sits…*  
  
Alana: Go DUMPLES! *cheers*  
  
Laurel: Hey Alana-the-fish-queen!  
  
Alana: *still watching TV* Yeah! Hit Homestar's knees! HARD!!!  
  
Laurel: uhh… Alana?  
  
Alana: YEA-- Oh, hey Laurel.  
  
Laurel: ^_^ We need the antidote.  
  
Alana: *freezes* NEVAR!!!!!!!!  
  
Syaoran: o_O  
  
Sakura: Um…  
  
Nakuru: *is watching TV* GO DUMPLES!!!  
  
Hen-Neko: *begins wandering around the room singing the chicken song…*  
  
Laurel: Ah, poo-on-a-stick. *annoyed* what horrible test must we face to receive this boon, oh Alana?  
  
Alana: You… must… do… stuff… FOR A TEST!!!  
  
Sakura: What stuff?  
  
Alana: For a test stuff, you idiot! Duh…  
  
Sakura: Uh… o_O Enlighten me…?  
  
Alana: *brings out match* Here! *sets Sakura's clothes on fire*  
  
Sakura: AHHHHHHHHH!!! *runs around trying to put out the fire*  
  
Hen-Neko: ooo… perdy lights…  
  
Syaoran: NOT THAT KIND OF ENLIGHTENMENT! *pulls out his sword, which looks very strange when he had long hair*  
  
Sakura: Put it out! PUT IT OUT!!!!  
  
Laurel: *pushes Sakura off the waterfall in the middle of the room*  
  
Sakura: AHHH- *shmuck-splash*  
  
Alana: ^____________^  
  
Laurel: Uhh… we have to fix Neko. What do we have to uh… do to get it…?  
  
Alana: You must answer me these questions three, then the antidote ye… take…  
  
Laurel: Oh alright then. Ask me the questions, I am not afraid!  
  
Alana: NO! Neko must answer them!  
  
Laurel: WHAT!?  
  
Syaoran: He's completely NUTS!  
  
Hen-Neko: *sings, to the tune of '99 bottles of beer on the wall' or jars of cheese-whiz…*99 cow heads to burn on the wall… 99 cow heads to burn… it's such a fun game to set them aflame… 98 cow heads to burn on the wall… *dances*  
  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Oh my… that was Alana's idea officially… holy poo on a stick. Even I'm worried. Jeez… Sorry for taking so long anyways! 


	14. Totally!

Laurel: Oki Doki then… time to keep writing! Already chapter 14, eh? Wow.. Oh and, if you notice that my 'stars' (you know shift and 8) are gone... IT'S BECAUSE THEY KEEP GOING AWAY WHEN I POST IT! So now they're ( parentheses )   
  
Disclaimer- Must you torment me like this? Lawyers grin evilly from behind … sigh I Do NOT own anything CCS related, Anything Zelda related, Anything Monty Python related, or anything fun AT ALL! pouts  
  
Claimer- I DO own Hen-Neko, Distant Island… that's it.

**Chapter 14 Totally  
**  
(Flashback)  
  
Laurel: Oh alright then. Ask me the questions, I am not afraid!  
  
Alana: NO! Neko must answer them!  
  
Laurel: WHAT!?  
  
Syaoran: He's completely NUTS!  
  
Hen-Neko: (sings, to the tune of '99 bottles of beer on the wall' or jars of cheese-whiz…) 99 cow heads to burn on the wall… 99 cow heads to burn… it's such a fun game to set them aflame… 98 cow heads to burn on the wall… (dances)  
  
(End Flashback)  
  
Alana: Uh… SOMETHING!  
  
Laurel: Oo I only said… ah, poo on a stick. Nevermind. Anyways… where were we… oh yes, WHAT!? WHY???  
  
Alana: 'Cause.  
  
Sakura: That's not a very good answer.  
  
Alana: So?  
  
Syaoran: It's not very helpful.  
  
Alana: I know! Can you believe it?  
  
Laurel: Well… what happens if he gets them wrong…? (is watching Neko attempt to eat some shells)  
  
Alana: He will be flung into the Gorge of Eternal Peril!… Oh, wait, that's under repairs… never mind.  
  
Nakuru: What happened to it? (hasn't spoken in a while)  
  
Alana: Uh… Shut up! Your opinion doesn't count!  
  
Sakura: That was a question…  
  
Alana: Yours doesn't either… you… person…  
  
Sakura: (backs away slowly)  
  
Hen-Neko: Ya know… I.. Really… really… really… REALLY like… sand. (giggles insanely and falls flat on his face in the sand)  
  
Syaoran: (is swatting at sparkles) Let's just get this over with. I'm sure we won't miss him if he… wait… what happens if he doesn't get them right if the bridge is broken?  
  
Alana: Well… he… will… well… Um… maybe… no… wait! I know!… nah…  
  
Syaoran: We don't have my whole life! I'm SICK of having long hair! It's driving me as crazy as Neko. (chops off his hair with his sword, but it grows back too quickly) Anyway, it's _totally_ high maintenance!  
  
Everyone but Syaoran: (Stares at him)  
  
Sakura: …what?  
  
Syaoran: shocked Did I just say… "totally"…?  
  
Laurel: Yep! And I have a picture of it! (holds up camera)  
  
Nakuru: His bishi-ness must be getting worse… it's starting to affect his brain! (pause) … YAY!  
  
Laurel: YAY!  
  
Sakura: So that means in a while I'll be the only sane one… faints  
  
Syaoran: As if! That is _SO_ not fun for you. puts his hand on his hip again  
  
Laurel: (Takes another picture) Wow. That's not good, eh? Well, it sure will be fun! Stay tuned for the next exciting, enlightening, extra-special chapter of… The Bishonen Phenomena! By the way, sorry it was so short! 


	15. Neko's Return

Laurel: I can't believe it's the 15th chapter already!  
  
Alana: I can't believe it's not butter!  
  
Laurel: Ah… k?  
  
Neko: MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE!  
  
Laurel: HEY! That's my line! … and those are my pants…?  
  
Neko: (giggles because he is wearing Laurel's pants)  
  
Laurel: Here's another one for the memory book… snaps picture  
  
Disclaimer: Do NOT own anything CCS related, Anything Zelda related, Anything Monty Python related, Bishies, their clothing, their bishiness, cheese-whiz, and moose-heads.   
  
Claimer: The claimer (I've actually seen people around use it! That's SO cool!!), Hen-Neko and… Distant Island. Wow. I suck…

**Chapter 15 Neko's Return  
**  
(Flashback)  
  
Nakuru: His bishi-ness must be getting worse… it's starting to affect his brain! pause … YAY!  
  
Laurel: YAY!  
  
Sakura: So that means in a while I'll be the only sane one… (faints)  
  
Syaoran: As if! That is SO not fun for you. (puts his hand on his hip again)  
  
Laurel: (Takes another picture)  
  
(End Flashback)  
  
Laurel: (Pushes Neko forward) Come on Neko… answer the questions…  
  
Hen-Neko: Moop…? (stands in front of Alana, picking his nose… uh…)  
  
Alana: Er… Yeeeeeaaahhh… Anyhoo, you must answer me these questions three, then the antidote ye take!  
  
Hen-Neko: Whoop! WHOOOOOOP!!! (stares at Sakura)  
  
Sakura: Um…  
  
Alana: Question 1: What is your name?  
  
Hen-Neko: See… that… thing-ay over… there-ay? (points to a moose)  
  
Random Moose: Me?  
  
Hen-Neko: YES… yeah… you… thing…ay… (sways)  
  
Random Moose: Yes? What would you like?  
  
Hen-Neko: pause ………… (eats it) ha ha ha…. Heh… I ate it… (giggles)  
  
Laurel:… um…?  
  
Hen-Neko: I like… ME! (hugs self and falls over on the sand)  
  
Alana: …oki… Good enough. You said 'me'… Question 2: What is your quest?  
  
Hen-Neko: Ooo! Ooo! I know this!! It's… uh… uh… uh… uh… uh… um… uh… uh… uhhhhhhhhh….. Ummm….. To… kinda… something about… ME! (hugs self and falls over again in the sand)  
  
Alana: Well, that IS kinda true… Question 3: What is the air speed velocity of an un-laden swallow?  
  
Hen-Neko: Well… African or European swallow? It all depends on weight ratio really… un-laden you say? How about 37m/h…? On average.  
  
Laurel: OO WHAT?  
  
Hen-Neko: MOOOOOSE!  
  
Syaoran: Like… what was that about?  
  
Sakura: um…  
  
Alana: Uh… Lets see… (takes out calculator types in stuff ) OO Uh… yes, actually…  
  
Laurel: Wow… so we get it??  
  
Alana: Hehehe… Well, I actually was going to give it to you if you failed, but… it's in the room back there… where the Fishy-guy is…  
  
Sakura: Ah, let's go and get it then!  
  
Alana: By the way, have any of you had any fish lately?  
  
Hen-Neko: (has just eaten a Zora)  
  
Alana: Oooo… bad problem… You see, for some strange reason, the Fishy-guy eats anything that smells like fish…  
  
Sakura: But we're underwater… EVERYTHING smells like fish!  
  
Laurel: We'll leave him here with you then. Take care of my little Neko! )follows everyone into the room)  
  
Hen-Neko: (Stares creepily at Alana)  
TV: DUMPLES WIN!!!  
  
Alana: (looks at TV) WOO HOO!!! GO DUMPLES!!!  
  
Hen-Neko: (looks at TV) …. (eats TV)  
  
Alana: pause NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! ToT  
  
Hen-Neko: … (eats couch)_Meanwhile, in the room...  
_  
Laurel: Where's the light…? (feels around in the dark)  
  
Nakuru: Here it is! (trips over a few things but manages to flip the switch)  
  
(Lights come on)  
  
Laurel: (looks around) Where is it?  
  
Syaoran: (is seated on a can of Spam Lite) Like, this is a TOTALLY cool seat! Wowness!  
  
Sakura: Spam?  
  
_(background music: Spam, spam, spam, wonderful spaaaaaaam!)_  
  
Everyone: (looks around, creeped out)  
  
Laurel: That's it! That's the antidote!  
  
Sakura: How do you know?  
  
Laurel: (points) -- It's got signs pointing to it saying, "Antidote"…  
  
Sakura: Oh!   
  
Sayoran: Kool, totally. Let's get going! I really need to get a manicure… (studies fingers)  
  
Sakura: Wait a second… (stares at him) is that my shirt?  
  
(Everyone leaves the room and returns to find that nothing is left in the room but Neko and Alana)  
  
Alana: (pauses) Uh… (points at Neko) He did it.  
  
Laurel: … k… well, here we go Neko! (opens the can and shoves the pinkishly greasy …thing down Neko's throat)  
  
Hen-Neko: (choke gag cough) What the hell was that crap!  
  
Laurel: NEKO! (huggles him)  
  
Hen-Neko: Where the hell are we? Why the hell are we here? Why are you hugging me…?  
  
Laurel: I'm so glad I kept a scrapbook!!!

----------  
Well that was fun while it lasted. I really can't wait to show him the scrapbook.


	16. Sick, Sick Mind

Hen-Neko: (is rocking back and forth in the corner of a large round white room with no walls) If you're wondering how that's possible, IT'S CAUSE LAUREL'S NUTS! (hyperventilates)  
  
Laurel: Oh, come on Neko… it's not that bad. I mean, it wasn't good… and it was kind of painful to watch… but… uh…  
  
Hen-Neko: What did I do while I was intoxicated by that mad-woman's "milk"???? TELL ME! (threatens Laurel with a large wooden gopher)  
  
Laurel: I kept a scrapbook. (hands the thick book to him)  
  
Hen-Neko: … (snatches it and reluctantly opens it) OO  
  
(Here are a few pictures…  
  
Neko is seen drooling while staring at Sakura.  
  
Neko is seen being slapped by Sakura.  
  
Neko is seen prancing around wearing Laurel's pants.  
  
Neko is seen smiling quite contentedly while staring at Sakura.  
  
Neko is seen being slapped by Sakura. Again.  
  
Neko is seen freaking out because he has peanut butter stuck to the roof of his mouth…  
  
ect…)  
  
Hen-Neko: (blushes deep red) You kept a FRICKIN' SCRAPBOOK!!??  
  
Laurel: Pff… well, why wouldn't I? Let's just get on with the story.  
  
Disclaimer: I hate you! -- See the before disclaimer.  
  
Claimer: the claimer (yes it's true, I am the creator of the claimer… I can't believe people are actually USING it!!! SQUEEEE!!! O), Hen-Neko, half of Distant Island (not the good half, mind you), and… well… the right to… uh… oh, to hell with it! I'm too lazy!  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
**Chapter 16 - Neko's Return**  
  
(Flashback)  
  
Laurel: … k… well, here we go Neko! opens the can and shoves the pinkishly greasy …thing down Neko's throat  
  
Hen-Neko: choke gag cough What the hell was that crap!  
  
Laurel: NEKO! huggles him  
  
Hen-Neko: Where the hell are we? Why the hell are we here? Why are you hugging me…?  
  
Laurel: I'm so glad I kept a scrapbook!!  
  
(End Flashback)  
  
Syaoran: Like… okay… so, can we totally get moving? shakes head PLEASE!? It's getting worse!!!! TOTALLY WORSE!!!!  
  
Laurel: Ya ya… we can go now. turns to Navi Hey.  
  
Navi: (floats over) Listen?  
  
Laurel: Look. (points to the doorway out) Listen, we need to get to the Deku Tree. Hey, could you take us there?  
  
Navi: Listen; yes! Look! (flutters over to a teleporter)  
  
Laurel: Oh! Why didn't I think of that, silly me.  
  
Sakura: -- There's a teleporter…?  
  
Laurel: Yes! I completely forgot about it until now! Heh… funny eh?  
  
Syaoran: WHAT!?? Like, TOTALLY uncool!  
  
Hen-Neko: (is hiding in a corner, in the darkness) Let's get this over with. If I had been… (glances at Sakura) in the right mind… I would've said something… but we have to get this going.  
  
Sakura: (glances at Neko, blushing) Yes, we should…  
  
Syaoran:… (looks annoyed, but his attention quickly shift to his nails)  
  
Laurel: Oh my… readers, I hope you're not thinking like my brain is…  
  
Sakura: What!? Like what!?  
  
Nakuru: My my… (shakes head at Neko) Laurel, are you seriously thinking that?  
  
Hen-Neko: (glares) Readers… pay no attention. Let's just get going.  
  
(everyone piles into the teleporter)  
  
Sakura: Why haven't we teleported yet…?  
  
Laurel: Oh ya! Gotta turn it on!   
  
Everyone except Laurel and Nakuru: (sigh)  
  
(the teleporter flashes white and they disappear, an action followed by a Zora-party. The group reappears in a dark forest.)  
  
Sakura: Where are we…?  
  
Laurel: This is some forest that happens to be in the game… K-something? Eh, I dunno…  
  
Syaoran: Well, is this where it is? The tree!?  
  
Laurel: yes.  
  
Syaoran: Then let's g- (trips on his hair and falls in mud) Oh, pooey… I got my nice clean clothes all dirty! Totally no fair! I like, hate mud! Totally…  
  
(they all walk forward toward an old tree in the middle of a dark clearing)  
  
Laurel: Oh ye olde tree of wisdom! Please aid us in our quest for the holy plot-sword. (bows before the tree but it doesn't move)  
  
Sakura: Hey! You! (pokes the tree) hello…?  
  
(the tree moves, blinking it's "eyes")  
  
Tree: Eh? Who art there!? GET OFF MY LAWN YE STINKIN' KIDS!  
  
Hen-Neko: Uh…?  
  
Laurel: Deku-tree? It's us?  
  
Tree: …eh? Who art thou?  
  
Laurel: I art Laurel!   
  
Tree: Laurel? Oh! What do ye want?  
  
Hen-Neko: We need the plot-sword.  
  
Tree: Eh…? Thy be needin' the what?  
  
Syaoran: The PLOT SWORD!  
  
Tree: Aye, Aye… I have it my dear boy. Or art thou a woman…?  
  
Syaoran: (fumes and brings out his sword)  
  
Laurel: Well… we need it back, can we have it?  
  
Tree: Aye… oh, can ye have what?  
  
Hen-Neko: OLD MAN, we need the PLOT-SWORD. From YOU. NOW!  
  
Tree: Ah! Thou be needin' thy sword. Aye, 'tis too bad I lost it in a chess game with Ganon then…  
  
Laurel: You bet in chess?  
  
Syaoran: You lost it! (screams) Who here hasn't lost something in a game!?  
  
Sakura: (blushes, but hides it well enough that no one notices) Uh, well how do we get it now??  
  
Laurel: We'll have to find him and get it back. I'll teleport us.  
  
Tree: Ah, I remember… back in my day we didn't have teleporters. We had to walk, everywhere we went!  
  
Sakura: Sir, trees can't walk.  
  
Tree: Which made it all the more difficult! We had to walk uphill and downhill in snowshoes, even when there was no snow! Why, there was this one time… back in the year 5 and a half, when suddenly a freak-hailstorm in the middle of July… (continues to ramble)  
  
(everyone sneaks out to the teleporter)  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Okay… some of you are likely confused… or have very sick minds. Wait a second, I thought of this… I have a sick mind! AHHHH! It burns! Seriously though, try not to figure it out if you haven't already. It'll hurt to much. 


	17. AWWWW!

Laurel: (is typing erratically on her laptop-she-wishes-she-had) Now then, let's see our reviews… (reads the screen for a moment, her face turns red and then she bursts out laughing) HAHAHAHA!!! Saasha I wish I could say I knew exactly what went on… but, even as the authoress of this story… I have no idea.  
  
Hen-Neko: What're you laughing about? (peeks over her shoulder)  
  
Laurel: AHH! (clicks the close button) Heh… Hi Neko. (sweat drop)  
  
Hen-Neko: (narrows eyes) Alright then… (steps backward into the shadows where his eyes glow, still watching)  
  
Laurel: (is creeped out)  
  
Disclaimer: I do NOT own… anything CCS, anything LoZ, cheese-in-a-can, old-people-speak, killer bunnies, cuteness, crushes... ect ect ect...  
  
Claimer: the claimer, the world (cough cough), Distant Island, the Plot Sword, Hen-Neko.  
  
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**Chapter Seventeen - AWWWW!  
**  
(Flashback)  
  
Tree: Ah, I remember… back in my day we didn't have teleporters. We had to walk, everywhere we went!  
  
Sakura: Sir, trees can't walk.  
  
Tree: Which made it all the more difficult! We had to walk uphill and downhill in snowshoes, even when there was no snow! Why, there was this one time… back in the year 5 and a half… when… (continues to ramble)  
  
(everyone sneaks out to the teleporter)  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(A huge castle is shown floating over a pit filled with bunnies up to the rim. A slave dog-goblin-pig-thing is seen painting the outside walls pink with a toothbrush. But it is a SINISTER shade of pink. Suddenly he falls off his ladder and into the pit of bunnies, drowning in the masses in a matter of seconds. Ganondorf is watching through the window.)  
  
Ganondorf: Teehee (turns away from the window and looks into a crystal ball. Scary music plays) Soon Laurel and her… other peoples will arrive… and I will EXECUTE THEM! AHAHAHAHA! AHAHAHAHA-CK COUGH! Ahg! Damn… I swallowed a butterfly…  
  
(suddenly everyone appears outside the castle)  
  
Everyone: hey? Do you mean everyone as in a name?  
  
Laurel: NO  
  
Everyone: Oh… (stalks off)  
  
(suddenly… those… peoples arrive in front of the castle)  
  
Hen-Neko: What the hell?  
  
Laurel: Well… that's different  
  
Syaoran: Ooooo! I LOVE that shade of pink! Where does he get his paint!?  
  
Sakura: What's with the bunnies…? O.o  
  
Nakuru: TEEHEE!  
  
Laurel: Well, we could sit here talking all day… but my mouth would start to hurt, I'd need a glass of water and the readers would get bored. So let's go.  
  
(dramatic music plays as they step toward the pit of bunnies)  
  
Laurel: I think we can just cross it by stepping on bunnies… if we're quick, we won't sink and drown in furry-happiness…  
  
Hen-Neko: (hasn't eaten a rodent in at least three hours)  
  
Sakura: (pauses and takes out a card) Fly! (grows wings and flies up to the door) TEEHEE!  
  
Syaoran: Hey! What about me!? I totally can't get up there now. (pouts)  
  
Nakuru: What about your sword? Isn't it all magicalfulness?  
  
Syaoran: AHG! Element win- ooo! A butterfly!!!  
  
Nakuru: O.o…  
  
(the others begin their hopping-over-bunnies trek and sooner or later - likely later - they come closer to the castle)  
  
Laurel: Neko! Stop eating the bunnies!!!  
  
Neko: (chews) I can't help it… they're so… DELICIOUS!  
  
Laurel: (evil grin) Really…?  
  
Neko: YES! (huge grin with ears sticking between his teeth)  
  
Laurel: Like somebod-  
  
Neko: (glares) SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!  
  
Laurel: (bigger evil grin) Like how you shu-  
  
Neko: I MEAN IT!  
  
Laurel: Or what? You'll silence me with-  
  
Neko: AHHHHG!!! (tackles Laurel, who falls backward into Syaoran, who is tossed into a cave at the edge of the pit.)  
  
Syaoran: AHHHHHHHHHHh- (SMACK) ow… I guess the ground wasn't that far off after all… but wait… HOLY FLYING MONKEY-RATS! (a loud roar is heard)  
  
Laurel: … well that sucks… nice job Neko.  
  
Neko: Hm? (is stuffing bunnies in his mouth)  
  
Laurel (walks up to the VERY steep cave opening) Hey! SYAORAN!? (screaming and incoherent curses reply) Hmm… not a good sign. We'll have to rescue him. Someone will have to go and tell Sakura.  
  
Nakuru: How about Neko? (grins)  
  
Neko: WHAT!? Why me?  
  
Laurel: You know why! (smile) I think it's cute… though mildly disturbing… and creepy.  
  
Neko: (looks away) I don't know what you're talking about.  
  
Laurel and Nakuru: Riiiiiiiiight…  
  
Neko: (glare)  
  
Nakuru: Just go and let her know… (pause) AWWWW!  
  
Neko: I will never hear the end of this…  
  
Laurel: AH-HA! So you admit it! YOU KISSED HER!  
  
Neko: How did- I mean- wha- (stuttering)  
  
Laurel: He stutters when he tries to lie to quickly… poor wittle guy…  
  
Neko: … FINE! I'll GO. (is blushing furiously as he stomps off)  
  
Syaoran: HELP ME! (in the distance… or… cave…)  
  
Nakuru: Oh ya… should probably save him or something…  
  
Laurel: (sighs) Ya ya… let's get moving.  
  
(both walk toward the hole)  
  
(Meanwhile…)  
  
Neko: (is glaring at the air as he walks)  
  
Sakura: Oh… uh, hey Neko. (leaning up against the pink wall of the castle)  
  
Neko: (looks up) uh… syaoran kinda fell down… uh… a hole…  
  
Sakura: What!? (looks worried) is he okay!?  
  
Neko: Ya… Laurel and Nakuru are going to help hi-  
  
Sakura: I'd better go help too! (releases the star-wand again) You coming?  
  
Neko: Uh… (blushes) Naw, I'll just wait here for everyone…  
  
Sakura: Okay… (flies back to the cave with the Fly's help)  
  
Neko: (sighs and leans up against the wall)  
  
Mush-loving readers: (squee with anticipation)  
  
Neko: (glares) Shut up.  
  
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SQUEE!!! That's so cute! My wittle Neko has a crush… (Neko: I DO NOT!) Well, this is a twist either way.

REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!

**: )**


	18. Poker Duelling!

**Laurel:** (is freaked out) Okay, so I realize that I haven't updated since… (checks) 07-29-04... Ah ha… haa…. (dodges bombs) GAH! 

**Hen-Neko:** (is throwing the bombs)

Disclaimer: I do NOT own… anything CCS, anything LoZ, cheese-in-a-can, old-people-speak, killer bunnies, Steve (bishi of stevilness) cuteness, crushes, Yami-Yugi, Yu-Gi-Oh, poker, Tompkins, the ability to actually play poker, Kratos, Tales of Symphonia, Alana (aka meh sista… (snort) I have rappa skillz)

Claimer: I DO own... the claimer, the world (cough cough), Distant Island, the Plot Sword, Hen-Neko, Bishiman (kinda).

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen - Poker Duelling!**

(Flashback)

_**Sakura:** I'd better go help too! (releases the star-wand again) You coming?_

_**Neko:** Uh… (blushes) Naw, I'll just wait here for everyone… Sakura: Okay… (flies back to the cave with the Fly's help)_

_**Neko:** (sighs and leans up against the wall)_

_**Mush-loving readers:** (squee with anticipation)_

_**Neko:** (glares) Shut up._

(End Flashback)

**Laurel:** (suddenly looks up) My angst senses are tingling…

**Sakura:** (flies back) Oh my GAWD! Syaoran? (runs over to the cave) Are you okay!

**Syaoran:** (in an echoing, distant-sounding voice) Like, OMIGOSH! Sakura, you're like SOOO kewl. I saw you flying down and I TOTALLY think it reminded me of this one guy… and he was…

**Nakuru:** He's hysterical! (looks shocked)

**Laurel:** No… (zooms in to her face) He's gaysterical…

(long silence… crickets chirp)

**Sakura:** Wha--? What does that mean?

**Laurel:** (stares) What do you think? (shakes head) Seriously, you kissed a half-cat but you don't get those jokes… I thought things like that worked through osmosis.

**Sakura:** --erk! (blushes)

**Nakuru:** EEEE! (points crazily at Sakura) Blushing, blushing, blushing!

**Sakura:** (face turns into a tomato) ….. (literally) AHHHH! HOLY MA-CRAP! (runs off)

**Laurel:** We'll worry about that one later. (turns to Nakuru) Wanna play Old Maid Go Fish?

**Nakuru:** Okay! (grabs a deck of cards)

(Meanwhile… in Minion mart, Bishiman is pushing a cart full of random weapons through the aisles of what appears to be a store that sells to evil Bishonen)

**Intercom Announcer:** Clean up on aisle six… clean up on aisle six…

**Bishiman:** Oooo! I'll take a few of these (stuffs a few dragons into the cart) and one of these… (grabs a bottle of random poison) Ooooh! Hair products! SQUEE! (rams the cart into the display and begins piling the merchandise in)

**Steve:** (comes around the corner also pushing a cart. Instead of walking, two fangirls carry him) Oh, hello bishiman! Wine?

**Bishiman:** Steve, bishi of stevilness! Nice to see you. (accepts a wine glass from one of Steve's fangirl minions) What are you doing here?

**Steve, bishi of all that is stevil:** Oh, nothing much… just the usual pillaging, evil plotting… you know. How about you?

**Bishiman:** (sips the wine) You'll never guess! (pauses for drama) I'm GETTING MARRIED!

(Uh… anyway… back outside Ganon's castle)

**Laurel:** Dammit! I win again… (takes off her left sock)

**Nakuru:** Meehehehehe! (chews on the red queen)

**Ganon:** (enters from apparently nowhere) Hey girls!

**Laurel:** Hiya Ganny! How's life?

**Ganon:** Alright… I guess. (dejected sigh)

**Nakuru:** Aw, what's wrong?

**Ganon:** Oh, Link banished me to the sacred realm again. (sniffles) He always ruins EVERYTHING! (cries)

**Laurel:** (pats him on the back) It's okay… hey, wanna play poker? (grabs the deck of cards)

(meanwhile…)

**Sakura:** (is freaking out andrunning around with her head as a huge tomato)

(and back to Neko…)

**Hen-Neko:** (sighs) No one LOVES ME! (pauses) Wait… why am I just sitting here like this?

(…uh… how about Syaoran?)

**Syaoran:** (is brushing his hair) Like, omg… how long is this going to take? This darkness it totally bad for my complexion.

(Hm… back outside the castle, Laurel has called up a few of her "friends". These include Yami-Yugi from 'Yu-Gi-Oh!', Kratos from 'Tales of Symphonia', aaaaaaaaand…. Tompkins!)

**Tompkins:** Aw, peas…

**Ugly hand:** Grarg! GRARG!

**Tompkins:** (he… he died somehow)

**Torso:** (takes silver!)

**Laurel:** (whispers to Kratos) Don't ask…

**Kratos:** This is absurd. (rolls his eyes) Indeed...

**Yami-Yugi:** OH NOES! I am LOSING! (twitches) No wait… AHAHAHA! I play Dark Magician! (close up on his crazy-looking face) Attack her Ace directly!

**Nakuru:** How'd you know I had an Ace? CHEAT!

**Yami-Yugi:** Aw peas… (grumbles)

**Ganon:** (has lost all his money, clothes, and army of minions) CRAP! Okay, I bet the Plot Sword.

**Laurel:** (eyes go starry) YESH! Uh… uh… I bet my… uh… er… PANTS!

**Kratos:** Goddess, NO!

**Martel:** (jumps off a bridge)

**Kratos:** NOOOOOOOOOO! (jumps after her) WHY?

**Nakuru:** Uh… ahem. Anyway… your move Evil-card-person.

**Yami-Yugi:** I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL! I'll bet my Millennium Puzzle… and my UNDERWEAR!

**Everyone:** No.

**Yami-Yugi:** Aw PEAS!

**Nakuru:** Yami-Yugi made a swear!

**Yami-Yugi:** Waaaahh!

**Laurel:** Ten queens! (drops her cards)

**Kratos:** Eh… What the f-

**Alana:** (appears out of nowhere and whaps him) Bad Kratty-chan! (disappears)

**Laurel:** Now for no reason whatsoever I will bet the plot sword and continue playing! (smiles)

**Yami-Yugi:** AH HA! YOU FOOL! I had a trap card down all along! (plays the I-keel-yous-all Card) It KEELS YOU ALL!

**Card:** (keels all)

**Yami-Yugi:** (wins) MUAHAGA! Damn typo-man… anyway, I win the Plot Sword! (disappears with his magical… magicalness)

**Ganon:** But you forgot your million dollars… (shifty look) YOINK! (runs away)

**Nakuru:** Aw poo…

* * *

Greatest. Comeback Chapter. EVER! Go to if you want to get some of the jokes…


	19. The One where Jack Spicer Appears

**Laurel:** I know have a new Favourite Villain! (turns to the previous holder of said title, herself) Sorry evil me-- 

**Evil Laurel:** (sigh)

**Laurel:** --but nobody beats… JACK SPICER, evil boy genius!

**Jack Spicer:** (peers out of a plot hole) Wha--?

**Hen-Neko:** (face-palm) Welcome to hell.

**Disclaimer:** I do NOT own… anything CCS, anything LoZ, cheese-in-a-can, Steve, Jack Spicer (tear), AOL-speak (by the way, no offence AOL-users), Xiaolin Showdown, plot holes.

**Claimer:** the claimer, the world (cough cough), Distant Island, the Plot Sword, Hen-Neko.

* * *

**Chapter Nineteen - The One where Jack Spicer Appears out of a Plot Hole!**

(flashback)

**Laurel:** Now for no reason whatsoever I will bet the plot sword and continue playing! (smiles)

**Yami-Yugi:** AH HA! YOU FOOL! I had a trap card down all along! (plays the I-keel-yous-all Card) It KEELS YOU ALL!

**Card:** (keels all)

**Yami-Yugi:** (wins) MUAHAGA! Damn typo-man… anyway, I win the Plot Sword! (disappears with his magical… magicalness)

**Ganon:** But you forgot your million dollars… (shifty look) YOINK! (runs away)

**Nakuru:** Aw poo…

(end flashback)

**Laurel:** Now that we're in this forest… (looks around)

**Everyone:** What…?

**Sakura:** But… how?

**Laurel:** er… uh… (shifty look)

(suddenly a plot hole appears out of another plot hole, apparently to explain why they have appeared in a random forest)

**Jack Spicer:** (appears) OMGWTFBBQ?

**Laurel:** LE GASP! (pitches a spaz)

(music: DUN DUN DUN!)

**Nakuru:** I know you! (stares) You're that sexy guy!

**Jack**: Uh… yeah, that sounds right. (grins, obviously flattered) But that doesn't explain--

**Laurel:** Oooo… look at all his majesty!

**Syaoran:** Wait, wait-- what? (temporarily regains sanity) Who the hell are you, where is this story going, and what the F-ing F are we doing in this forest?

(silence… birds fly away)

**Nakuru:** Look, it's the guy who has the Plot Sword! (points up in the sky)

**Sakura:** Ganon?

**Laurel:** Weeeeell…

**Jack:** (quietly) uh… why am I still here…?

**Yami-Yugi:** (is floating above the trees) MUAHAHAHAHA! You will never get this sword that I'm not even sure does anything useful! MUAHAHAHA! (pauses) Wait, why would I want this when I have ancient Egyptian battling creatures at my disposal?

**Hen-Neko:** (to Laurel) Poker?

**Laurel:** Yeah, poker…

**Sakura:** YOU LOST IT AGAIN?

**Yami-Yugi:** Eh, I don't really want this… but I do have a debt to repay elsewhere. (disappears)

**Syaoran:** LYK, Oh em gee? Totaly, u got 2 get a grip, gurl!

**Nakuru:** Good Lord, he's typing in AOL-speak!

**Jack:** (girly scream)

**Laurel:** (hangs off Jack) That was really adorable.

**Jack:** Ah… heh… (is completely weirded out) What the hell is going on?

**Hen-Neko:** (whispers inaudibly to him)

**Jack:** (pause) I'm in a FanFiction? What kind of freak--

**Laurel:** (glares) Watch what you say, you could end up like him. (points to Syaoran)

**Syaoran:** (sniffles) I… I broke a nail!

**Jack:** (girly scream)

**Laurel:** (glomps him) So cute!

**Sakura:** I agree with Syao… where is this story going?

(meanwhile...)

**Yami-Yugi:** There you go, now we're even. (appears to be implying something disturbing) That cookie recipie is da bomb! (...or not.)

(Laurel adds "da bomb" to the list of things Yami-Yugi would never say)

**Bishiman:** Ooo! The plot sword!

(Back in the forest, Laurel is worshiping Jack Spicer, Nakuru is trying to tie a bell to the end of Neko's tail, Syao is being a ditz, Sakura is generally annoyed and becoming even more so)

**Sakura:** That's IT! (flips out)

**Everyone else:** (freeze)

**Sakura:** WE are going to SAVE Li and we are going to do it NOW! (towers above them) Now, I have a feeling we're going to need to get back to Bishiman's stupid castle... FAST.

**Everyone else:** (Cowers)

**Sakura:** You, gothy wimp. (points to Jack)

**Jack:** (whimpers) I'm not a wimp.

**Sakura:** Build some kind of mechanical flying machine.

**Nakuru:** That's completely preposterous!

**Sakura:** (glare)

**Jack:** I'd like to point out that I'm being held here against my wi--

**Sakura:** NOW!

**Jack:** Nevermind!

**Sakura:** (returns to normal stature and smiles sweetly)

**Hen-Neko:** (whistles)

**Laurel:** I always thought she had a scary side.

* * *

If you're wondering,the Plot Hole affects the probablity of the surrounding area. Therefore, the most unlikely things happen when they open. 


End file.
